Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

I'm so excited! yet annoyed

It's been a year and a few weeks since i left my son's father.. and my best friend came back in my life [he had a gf who just wouldn't let him talk to his friends.. unless they were her friends too] he was out of my life for two years, we've been friends since we were 4 years old. and we always say happy birthday on valentine's day lmfao!! to even us out [his birthday is feb. 13 and mine is feb. 15 lol we were even born the same year!] he asked me out recently and i immediately said yes, i trust him, i love him, and most of all.. he makes me happy! well.... my son's dad found out... and messaged me saying who is this guy and that he'll kill him [in exact words] if nathan ever calls him dad. REALLY!!! what's up with deadbeat fathers having issues with their kids calling other ppl dad... when their actual father just isn't in the picture! UGHHHH totallly annoyed by that.. then he tries to make me sound bad, saying i keep him

Answer Question

Asked by kittenripmaygo at 12:26 AM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 10 (474 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • away from his own son... when in reality.. i give him all kinds of opportunities and he'd rather go play with his friends or his girlfriend.. ugh!! who deals with this as well??

    Comment by kittenripmaygo (original poster) at 12:27 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Im happy for you, just ignore your sons father , ugh i hate it when they want to just come & take credit like they desreve it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • My girls dad was gone for 3 1/2 years. My SO has been helping me raise my girls since their dad has been gone. So he comes after me for custody cause now hes engaged and has a step daughter and a baby of his own. So he interupts my girls lives and has the nerve to bash my SO and gets mad thjat my girls on occasion call him daddy. Well its been 2 yrs since he came back in their lives and they are moody and have picked up so many bad habits. They were sweet introubled lil girls b4 he came back. And even now all he does is once every month to 2 months get them for a weekend and spend money on them let them eat what they want and stay up late then bring them home. When Its his Holidays he is always available. So now My SO and I spend our time getting my girls back into routine and teaching them manners and respect all over again. Some judges need to realize that A child need structure and consistency! I cant stand deadbeats

    Answer by mymestey at 12:41 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • i know! it's getting annoying.. he does it everytime i even mention on myspace i like a guy [had no clue he was even WATCHING my page].. i just stopped after that message.. and left my title as love my son and [his name] everything else about my son.. i hide his son's pictures so he can't go around saying he's in his life.. if he was.. he'ld have pictures in his wallet cause i get pictures done every once in a while

    Comment by kittenripmaygo (original poster) at 12:43 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Oh it hurt me when my girls called their dad daddy the 1st day they seen him after the 31/2 yrs. They only remember him from pics and during the 3 yrs he did not try to get them would help w money and I couldnt get in touch w him. Well I let his mom and dad get thier grandkids during that time w the understanding that they dnt let their son come and see them. He cant jsut drop by say Hi and thats it. If hes going to be there as their dad it will be fulltime not halfass. Well they ignored my wishes and he dropped by once and a while so I cut off contact w his family like he did from me. So basically they remembered his half ass gesture of being a father and naturally call him daddy as if he was never absent. Its just a name. But I have taught my girls that anyone can be a dad but its being a father thats most important. I dnt bad mouth their dad I only help them to better appreciate the stepfather role!

    Answer by mymestey at 12:49 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • save the text, take your friend up to the police station and get some restraining orders and/or file for harrassment/threats. nip that shit in the bud real quick. he has no right to dictate your relationships to you and he is really jumping the gun thinking you would confuse your child by having him call another man daddy if he has one. if your child wants to call him that at some point, that is to be handled at the time based on all relationships involved. update your facebook privacy so he can't see what you choose to put there. if there is not a custody/child support/visitation order in place, get one. if there is, follow your end of it and leave it at that. it is up to him to be a good father and then he won't have to worry about someone taking his place, but you can't make him be one only make yourself crazy trying if he's not.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:14 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Yep, I would block him from viewing your activities. This is nothing more than your typical BS male posturing. What, he's gonna pee on your leg next to mark his territory? I would tell him with all sincerity in the world "I wouldn't DREAM of having your son call another man Daddy when you've been such an exemplary Daddy yourself." OK, I probably wouldn't say that, since it is likely to get a negative response, but it's nice to imagine it, isn't it?
    Congrats on maybe finding love with someone you consider a true friend. That is the sweetest thing in life! YAY for you!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 8:16 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I am just curious....why haven't you taken him to court for child support or even to terminate his parental rights. Being absent for 3 yrs is abandonment and since your SO is their "active" Daddy/father they do not need their sperm donor dad in their lives. Just a thought!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 8:31 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I'm really happy for you. It's the "dead beat dads" like him that give my husband (who's doing everything he can and it's not enough) a bad reputation.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:29 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • @FIGARO we just finalized an order for child support. I wouldn't let nathan call anyone else dad unless he's ready to call someone dad. i block his dad from myspace a while back. my profile's on private lol and saved all messages he sent to me.. he threatened to kidnap nathan a few months ago, i called the cops and they said it's freedom of speech if he doesn't act on it >.> so saying that would be freedom of speech to them.. florida sucks lol
    i told him he's welcome to come to my house anytime to see his son, he always says he cant, so when i go around his town, he's always 'busy' when i let him know i'm going to be in town. lol i gave up and told him just let me know when you're coming to see your son, we have nothing to talk about..
    i don't badmouth his gf, however i have messaged her only once saying get to know him before rushing into things and he gets pissed lol.. but it wasn't like i was telling her to leave him.

    Comment by kittenripmaygo (original poster) at 10:23 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.