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2 Bumps

Should I feel guilty about not wanting sex? adult content

I love my DH and the sex is good and often great, but I just don't want to do it as much as he does. Any suggestions? Asking anonymously for obvious reasons...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:37 AM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • You haven't stated how long you have been married, if you have kids, or if there are any medical issues involved. There are so many facets to a sexual relationship during marriage. The only thing I have learned is that you have to speak with each other about the problem. Be honest and tell him what you would prefer, and tell him why you feel guilty. If you believe that marriage is forever, he will be your best friend and partner, and talking with him about this should improve your relationship.Some topics are uncomfortable, but they are crucial to discuss.

    Bostonsbest

    Answer by Bostonsbest at 9:42 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • only feel guilty if you're purposely keeping sex from him & don't give it to him often. From what i read, it seems you do have sex with him regularly, but you just don't want it as much as he does. That is OK. My EX was a rabbit & i was not having that at all. Well...i didn't really like him either which made it much harder to want to have sex with him. BUT, the fact that he begged me for it all the time turned me off even more. How often are you willing to have sex? Maybe you guys cam compromise. Like if he wants sex every day, but you want it once a week...maybe you can agree to having sex 3 times week. That might be a weird conversation...lol, but it could help. AND it might help him understand better. I will say though, that with my ex....he eventually got addicted to porn because i never had sex with him. So, don't keep it from him for too long. Horny guys get desperate if they're not having sex.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:57 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • no, you shouldn't feel guilty. withholding sex is different, though.
    its rare that two people have the same libido, or sex drive. in fact, i think its safe to say most couples differ in their want/need of sex.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:47 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • communication - communication - communication - sit down and talk with him - if the two of you can't get to why you don't want to make love with him as often as he wants to make love with you, maybe you could go to a marriage counselor; Sometimes men just have more of a sexual drive than women - and they need to know that they are expecting too much - but they need to hear it from somebody other than their wife - my husband went to a one-week seminar on sexual expectations between s/o's - it was part of a college course - and - i'll tell you, i never had to fake another headache again - that course made him realize that i wasn't in the mood as often as he was - and he learned to take no with a smile on his face - before that, he always got a little bit cold and it would last for a few days - that class was the best thing that ever happened to our marriage - we've been married 46 happy years!!!
    kaysimon132461

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 1:12 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • There is another question on here about a woman who is thinking of leaving her husband because he barely has sex with her. It might be helpful for you to read. Have you thought of going to the doctor and seeing what they could give you to help with your sex drive?
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 9:41 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty. Do you have young kids? Are you working a lot? A lot of factors could weigh in on you not wanting to have intercourse.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 9:41 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Don't feel guilty. The libido of a woman changes over time.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 9:56 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • no if you have a good reason I haven't had sex in six months
    tiredofthis60

    Answer by tiredofthis60 at 9:58 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • no I don't
    tiredofthis60

    Answer by tiredofthis60 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • agree with samurai_chica. Also maybe find some creative ways to help him with that urge...Give the man a hand if need be.(if u know what I mean)
    Cheveyo1

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:09 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

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