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I have shingles right now and I am in the worst pain I have ever been in my whole life. My x/DH who often helps me around the house due to my fibro and other limitations due to pain, for some reason cannot understand that when my pain hits an all time high, he needs to HELP. adult content

I asked him to take me to the ER on Sunday to get something for pain relief...I spent Sunday, Sunday night and Monday in excruciating pain. I couldn't stand it anymore! I couldn't eat, sleep or anything else! I finally screamed at him to take me in or I was calling a g-damn f*cking ambulance! He then begins to yell at me that he needs to go to bed to go to work the next day (today). I said "so when the f*ck am I going in?!" He says he won't have time to take me til "MAYBE WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON"! WTF?! I am beyond pissed at him at this point! He has done this before. I am not one to tell people, especially him when I am in pain. I have it daily - telling him won't change it. But when I AM telling him - that means I can't handle it anymore on my own! How can I get through his stupid thick head that me telling him I am in pain means I don't giva f*ck about his need for sleep or anything else at the moment?!


Asked by Babylove76 at 10:22 AM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (14)
  • I just got over Shingles a few weeks ago- so, i do know how you feel- i'm not sure what was worse; the pain or being So Freaked- Out about it! i actually didn't go to the doctor b/c at first i thought i was broke out with the Hives- but, i probably should of went- i tried different things myself; i actually had some pain meds. left over from the dentist so, i took them & Goodies- it helped some- i also went through a whole bottle of Calamine Lotion in just a couple of days- i took a bath with Oatmeal every few hours too- A Water Blister poped up on the 5th day & the pain was a whole lot less- maybe, you can try some of these- my stomach was really upset too, almost like the Flu- Wishing you lots of luck & i hope you feel better soon! Take Care-

    Answer by daisyb at 11:08 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Not to be rude - but he's your ex, and you expect him to help you? I'm sorry that you are in pain, but really - it's not his responsibility to take care of you.

    Answer by Scuba at 10:25 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • just call the ambulance. especially if he isn't going to do it and your pain. screw him then.

    Answer by melody77 at 10:24 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Do you have a doctor to call for advice before sitting for hours/days in emergency? I also don't understand why you are calling the ex. Do you have any neighbors, friends, relatives who could take you to the hospital?

    Answer by Whimsee at 10:28 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • You are under a lot of stress that is why you have shingles.

    sorry that you are in pain but you do have to do things on you own, get strong.

    Call your doctor for pain pills.

    also Google shingles to see what may or may not happen and what you can do for the pain and how long the pain may stay.

    Answer by gammie at 10:35 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I am not calling the ex. He is here. He just does things while he's here to see his kids. I called the nurse line and they said to go to the ER because shingles pain gets really bad the longer you don't treat it. I was in too much pain to drive. I have told him many times I don't want his help but he comes and does things anyway. He really IS a big help to me. Except when I am in horrible pain that I cannot handle. This happened before when I had gal stones. I had to have emergency surgery because he threw a ginormous fit when HE couldn't help my pain! Well, I am sorry but YOU cannot fix a gal bladder nor can YOU take the pain of shingles away! I hope he gets it so he knows what I am going through! UGH!

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 10:39 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • gammie: I had shingles once before so I knew the pain was bad. My mom had it a few years ago also and I took care of her so again I knew it was going to be bad. I went to the dr on Sunday but she didn't think I needed anything for the pain - just an anti-viral med. Well she was wrong and by Sunday evening I was crazy with pain. I have googled it and if you actually google it you will find out that the pain is very very severe most of the time.

    people, no offense, but if you aren't familiar with the pain associated with shingles....this isn't the post for you....I do not need to be bashed right now. Have a half a heart and keep nasty comments to yourself.

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 10:44 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Shingles pain often lasts much longer than the illness itself. It can take weeks, months or even YEARS to get through it.

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 10:45 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • He's your ex so he probably isn't going to care about you as if you were married. I'd call an ambulance to take you to the ER and have him watch the kids until you get back. Problem solved.:)

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:46 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • UGH! I wanted to call an ambulance since he wouldn't take me right away, but HE wanted to be the one to take me.....WHEN IT FIT INTO HIS SCHEDULE!!

    He wouldn't watch the kids because he wanted to go to bed, go to work, go back to bed and go back to work. He wanted me to wait until Wednesday afternoon.....I think I said that in my post??? Pls read the entire post - thanks!

    Comment by Babylove76 (original poster) at 10:52 AM on Oct. 5, 2010