Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Brother-in-law total a--hole about my toddler.

So my brother-in-law constantly criticizes my 1.5 year old (yes, 1.5 year old!!) for being 'out of control.' She is a normal toddler, yes, a little more active and boisterous and definitely not a shrinking daisy, but she is by all accounts bright and well adjusted. On more than one occasion, he has made comments that she is 'spoiled' and that I am a bad parent. I am so irritated that I am thinking about boycottting the next family dinner at my in-laws if he is there. I don't need my child criticized, nor do I need my parenting criticized. No one agrees with him and he is one of those 'anti-kid' people, but it is still very irritating to me. I know that if I were to refuse to attend any event with him present, it would cause a familly ruckus and my MIL would be upset. (She thinks he is ridiculous). What would you do?

Answer Question

Asked by danielp at 11:01 AM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 11 (542 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • tell him to STF up

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 11:04 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would speak directly to him and let him know(in front of the family) that he under no uncertain terms is allowed to criticize me, nor, my child. That it is not his kid and he can choose to raise his own kids with his own idea if he wants but he is no longer allowed to tell you how to raise yours. Get a backbone and stand up for yourself and your kid. He WILL back off.

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:05 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would tell him to go start a vineyard. With all the whining he's doing about your child and kids that should be his career path, then he would not have to be around kids and hopefully he would fall in the vat and drown! If only you could get that lucky!


    Answer by emerald53197 at 11:06 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • What does your husb have to say? Wont he stand up for his own child & put that jacka$$ in his place? Or does everyone just blow him off b/c he is such a jacka$$? If he directly speaks to, yells at, or otherwise negatively approaches your child, I would sweetly say to your child, "OH just ignore uncle jacka$$. We all do when he acts this way" Smile at him & lead your child away from him. He'll get the hint eventually.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:07 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Lol mrsmom. Generally he is thought of as a jerk, so no one else in the family really listens to him. I know I shouldn't let him bother me, but the more I think about it, the more irritated I get! Last time he made such a comment I told him 'have you ever heard the saying, the best parents are the ones without kids?' He shut up after that. I just get so mad thinking he'll say these things in front of her. Part of it is jealousy, I think, because he is an older man who is getting remarried and he never had kids of his own. He knows how much his mother would have liked for him to, and I think it makes him feel bad, so he lashes out at me (I have the first grandkid on their side).

    Comment by danielp (original poster) at 11:09 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would tell him to STFU. Does your hubby step in at all?? He should

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:10 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would tell him to shut up and when and if he has kids of his own, then we could talk about what makes a good vs. bad parent and a good vs. bad kid.

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 11:28 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Is he a parent? Is he your childs parent? Didn't think so, kindly let him know to mind his own!
    Donna M.

    Answer by Donna M. at 1:25 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I don't understand why he must say those things. It isn't his child! I am sure she is wonderful! He needs to sweep around his own doorstep before sweeping around someone else's!

    Answer by SuperM0mmy at 3:30 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Make one comment to shut him up like you have done in the past and then try to ignore him. Don't stress out over someone else's ignorance. Be strong!!

    Answer by elizabr at 5:50 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.