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my neighbor (next door) is a registered sex offender/child molester.....

IT IS NOT UP TO ME TO JUDGE ANYONE...so i havent judged him BUT should i be more careful? I have a 5 yr old nephew that is here a lot and my daughter is 3 mos old...we dont avoid the neighbor and he will sit and talk to us in the backyard and he sometimes mows my yard for me or loans tools to my Dad...he is a silly old man and most of the time seems harmless except when i get that creeped out/hair-on-the-back-of-my-neck-standing up feeling...he served 8 or 9 years in prison about 15 yrs ago...should i avoid him even tho our houses r close together? is he only being helpful so that i wont tell him to leave us alone? how would you handle this?

 
mamagee1218

Asked by mamagee1218 at 11:21 AM on Oct. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,863 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I think you're handling it well, that being said I would be more cautious when he's around the children. I also would be clear with your nephew and your 3 mos (if you stay there as your daughter grows), that this man is not someone that can be around alone (well let alone any one else). I'd express they are not allowed in the man's house without Mommy or Daddy, or anywhere for that matter around him without you.
    I would also play cautious when you are talking with him, and the children are around. If he is at your house during the day to mow the lawn or whatever it is, the children should never be alone with him.
    I do give people a second chance, this man served his time although I believe child molesters do not change their urges. So I would be especially cautious with the children around him.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:41 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think you are handling it well. Just stay vigilant and take extra precautions not to let your nephew wander over to his house or be in a situation where he may find himself alone with your neighbor. Same with your daughter.
    SabrinaBean

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 11:24 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • You need to be careful. You should not be encouraging his relationship to your family.
    You may not want to be judgmental but this is your family. You are putting them at risk. I definitely be making moving plans.
    No way would I bring my nephew or bring my daughter up with him right next door.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:24 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Move ...
    MTM

    Answer by MTM at 11:24 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would avoid him honestly.. I wouldn't let him mow my yard.. you are just gonna get yourself in a bad position with a child molester! & you can bet your ass I'd be moving.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 11:26 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • from what I've read, unless they ( convicted molestors) have spend serious time getting help, that feeling inside that they have toward children which is inappropriate, doesn't go away.. there is always a chance and forever will be a chance that your child or nephew will be in danger. I would hesitate to talk with him any more at all..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:57 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would avoid him. Better safe than sorry.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 11:27 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • How did you find out he was?
    did he come right out and tell you?
    Do you know if he was charged with a Child?

    I'm just curious.
    But I wouldn't allow him anywhere near MY child.... In my opinion, they never change.
    Temptation is always around them.... Not worth a chance to me..
    try_again

    Answer by try_again at 11:28 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • try_again....i found him on my state's online sex offender registry....only details listed are what he was charged with and how long he served...so i dont know details but it was 2 counts of child molestation.....i have never discussed it with him and dont know if he knows that i know...for all i know he could have had consensual sex with a 17 yr old or something and her parents freaked out and got him in trouble...i have no idea.....and to be honest i kinda dont want to know...i own this house free and clear and moving is not really an option right now...i just dont know if im being TOO nice by treating him as tho hes just a normal guy or if i should keep my distance and avoid him completely and if so then do i tell him to 'leave me alone'??
    mamagee1218

    Comment by mamagee1218 (original poster) at 11:46 AM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I guess I could see being civil, but I wouldn't let this man around any kids personally. Not sure what I would tell the kids, but since you are friendly with this man, they may assume that he is one of the OK adults.
    I would do what I could to make sure they knew to stay away from him.

    what do the parents of your nephew think?

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:53 AM on Oct. 5, 2010