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5 Bumps

WHAT IF YOUR DAUGHTER DID THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

A couple of weeks ago my dh and i told my dd that if she didnt bring her grades up, that she couldnt go anywhere. So one weekend she asked if she could go over a friends house. we haven't meet the parents of this girl, i would like to meet the parent before hand not the some day thats my rule and my dd knows that. So we toldher NO maybe i can meet her mom first so day. So my dd started crying and saying, we dont never let her go anywhere. My husband and I went out to dinner and when we got home .... SHE HAD TAKEN ALL OF HER PICTURES OF THE WALL.. PICTURE FAMES ON THE FLOOR ... PICTURES TAKING OUT AND RIPPED AND THROWN IN THE TRASH . PICTURES FROM WHEN SHE WAS A BABY UNTIL NOW SHE IS 15. She left a letter that i didn't read my dh did. I told her that i was upset that she did this, and that i can't replace the pictures. You had no right in doing this.. She still to this day hasn't said she is sorry, iam so hurt by this HELP

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swl657

Asked by swl657 at 12:26 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,626 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I hate to say this, but it probably won't be the worst thing that happens. She a teen and she's rebelling- it's probably going to get worse before it gets better =(
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • If an adult did that I'd say she was a psycho. I know teens have some nutty hormones but that's a bit extreme. I'd probably punish her for a very very very long time. An apology is warranted but it shouldn't change the fact that she needs a serious consequence. Is she normally so emotionally unbalanced?
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 12:32 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • WOW! i think your daughter has something that is really bothering her- maybe, you should set up a meeting with the school counsler & see if she can help you out with this one- That is not normal behavior- i hope things get better soon!
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 12:36 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I agree that what she did certainly wasn't right, but she is going through that horrible age with the hormones and honestly maybe if you went out of your way to meet her friends mom, it might calm her down a bit. Sometimes we do have to cater a little when they are going through that stage, and bless your heart it's a bitch to go through..GL

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 12:41 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I dont have a child this age but my sister is this age and I help my mother with her because she is def the drama queen. SORRY TO SAY THIS.....she could like this girl sexually or was about to go do something dangerous or "cool"! she could be menstrating or feeling dismembered from the family. she also could be feeling bad about herself and has low self esteem or she could want your attention as a family! it could be many things but i see it as a cry for help she needs your attention and as a mother you need to talk to her go do some shopping together not as a reward but some time together ground her and make her appologize! make her work to pay for a photo package together as mother and daughter!!!
    tiffandgene2009

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 12:44 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would suggest counseling to find out why she is so angry. That is what is most important at this point, finding out why she can't control her emotions. Also, maybe she is rebelling because she doesn't have any freedom and you aren't trusting her to make decisions about her friends. I have no problem meeting parents when I bring my child over, sometimes there is not time to set up a parent playdate before the kids hang out.

    Orions; I would NEVER call or imply that someone's child is a psycho...people that make comments like that are the ones that keep people who need help from getting help.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I had the same rules as you for my boys...I had to know the parents at least some before they could go to someone's house. I agree that it's a hormone thing, and believe it or not, boys go through the same thing. They just don't seem to be able to handle their hormones, the fact that they want adult privileges, but that they still aren't quite adults.

    I'm going through similar issues with my son right now, and I've had a really hard time handling it. Not exactly the same because he's 18, the issues are different, but the inappropriate response is there. I feel what you're feeling, I'm right there with you.

    I agree about the counseling, I've been trying to get my son to go , but because he's 18, I can't make him. I don't know how much it helps, but I know it gives both of you a mediator if you get a good counselor.

    Good luck!!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • come to fine out she says she has a boyfriend he is in the 11th grade she can't date.. my dh is upset and my son says if he finds out who this kid is he is going to be upset and doesn't know what he will do. i told him not to do anything. my dh and i need to meet this boy we know what hes after... and no this is not normal behavior for her ... i think we all might need group therapy
    swl657

    Comment by swl657 (original poster) at 12:48 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • forget to the THERAPY she wont respond to that and that wont help your wallet
    tiffandgene2009

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think you are doing right by sticking to your guns. Your daugther knows that you like to know the parents before she goes to a friends house, so she should have known that you would say no if you didn't know them. I agree, she is a teen, she is rebelling, and it will probably get worse before it gets better. Just make sure that she knows that you love her, try not to lose your patience with her, stay firm, stick to the rules, stay strong. You can do this. And when she does things that hurt you like with the pictures, it was to hurt you on purpose. Don't give her the satisfaction of letting her know that is hurt you. Good luck!
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 12:52 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

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