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This may seem like a desperate question....

Recently, I posted that my husband and I are divorcing. I absolutely miss sex. The last thing I want is to start something with a new man just because I'm desperate. And I don't want to feel "dirty". Will these feelings subside, soon?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Oct. 24, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I dont know... I am in the same boat as you. DH and I are done, but I am still having sex with him just because I miss sex, but then I still have feelings for him :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:53 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I was going to suggest as the first answer....if you have a "comfy" relationship with him, perhaps it's still safe to have sex with him, just for the physical nature of it, nothing more. If not, then you may be able to find a "friend with benefits" that is trustworthy to know that you won't catch anything.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 6:58 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Personally I think you give mixed messages when you sleep with someone you are divorcing. It also confuses the kids if they find out. (been there, done that). Finding a new man doesn't make you desperate. Finding a new man is simply moving on trying to fill a void. Meeting a lot of men gives you choices. you can pick and choose who you'd like to form a new relationship with, including sex so I'm all for you getting out there and finding the man who is right for you and leave dh to find his own new mate.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:38 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I would suggest leaving DH to his own defenses. If you aren't ready for a relationship, which no doubt you aren't considering you are currently divorcing, I would suggest finding a friend with benefits in which you could borrow company with from time to time. Every woman has needs and you recognize that you need yours met...however, being still sexual with your ex will leave you with lingering feelings and it's probably best to cut that string now. Best of luck hun!
    lilsweetredhead

    Answer by lilsweetredhead at 7:52 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Yes as soon as you go out and get a vibrator!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:04 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I sell toys if you are interested! But I don't ever think it's a good idea to have sex with an ex because it will just complicate things. You aren't over each other yet and you will fall back into the relationship because of the sex and things aren't going to get any better. Just take some time for yourself and then get back out into the dating world. Allow yourself time to heal and get over your husband.
    envyme72

    Answer by envyme72 at 8:25 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • well i'm very glad that you see it that way and aren't going to just go jump on the first guy that hits on ya! i'd try going solo for a while and getting some toys to help ya out.. worked for me when I went thru some issues.
    Ambreelulu

    Answer by Ambreelulu at 9:37 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

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