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hoarding on the brain, family problem.

I've got hoarding on the mind because I come from a family of hoarders. I'm not as bad as any of them, but I've got some stuff to organize and I want to make a improvement.
I've got a schedule for myself, but I do worry about my mom.
who in my opinion, doesn't have much touch with reality. Long story short, we haven't spoken in a few months because she denies the problems my family has.
I'd go over and work on it if I could, but she has a house full of cats (part of the problem)and I'm allergic. I also live about 2000 miles away, and I'm under medical orders to keep stress way down.
She looks at her house as fine, when believe me, it's not.
I'm thinking of sending her some videos of the show hoarders. it's not to be mean at all, it's just that show seems to show perspective to these people.

what does anyone think of this idea?

anyone else have a situation like this? if yes, how did you deal?


Asked by ItsMe89 at 2:07 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 25 (23,130 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I know a girl that actually hoards cats...and honestly she sees other people on the news or on tv and actually gets angry that they are doing it when in all reality she is doing the same thing. She has at one point had close to 60 cats in her home until someone turned her in. She doesnt think she has a problem...she just can't see it. Good luck with your mom, but make sure you are taking care of yourself first, you can not help her if you are ill.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:11 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I dont think that show will fix her problem. If she is happy in her own way I would leave her alone and just enjoy the part of her that you can. You are far away and wont be able to help her fix the would take counseling and someone close by who is willing to help her haul stuff off as she gets a grip with counseling. Do you think she is ready for that? Will sending videos only put a wedge between you?

    Answer by ria7 at 2:12 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • if she denys she has the problem, there's nothing like comfronting the person about it and saying "you have a problem", not in person but in so many other ways. that can be one, i wouldnt say that is a mean thing to do. it might bring her up to realization but still not solve the problem

    Answer by americansugar80 at 2:13 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • No one in my family or myself have a hoarding problem. This is a huge issue for some people like your family and not so much yourself, anyways momma you are 2000 miles away from your mother and this is a problem that can't be fixed just by you it has to be fixed by your mother. This is a sickness as you have already figured out. I think with the fact that you need to keep your stress level down and you need to take care of first and for most you should just call someone that specialist in this that is in your mothers area. You can get your stuff organized and keep yourself in check and break this chain so your children don't go down this road like some of your family members have and that are in. GL momma keep yourself healthy and keep your head held high.


    Answer by raemommy at 2:21 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Thanks so much ladies! I needed that encouragement.

    Comment by ItsMe89 (original poster) at 2:48 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • my mother and grandmother are serious Hoarders...I was for the first few years of being out on my own but then realized I needed to let go...I was taught that everything had a purpose or could be used for something else later...eventually it became a real problem when my 3 car garage was so full it started to pour into the house...I was told by friends, and other family that this was a problem but the thing that made a difference was my best friend at the time called me and said she couldnt be my friend anymore because my house was unsafe for her children to visit...that was the straw that broke the hoarding camels back...the next weekend it was all gone.

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 4:31 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Oh boy. I think your Mom needs an intervention. I have watched a few of the "Hoarder" shows and it is so bad I can't watch anymore. It is messy and most of the time, unsanitary.
    The shows spooked me to the extent that I am getting together bags of clothing I haven't worn for a few years and some knick-knacks, baskets,candles and books I have read to give to the Goodwill....I can't stand having too much stuff and love the clean,simple look of my house ---no clutter, no extras. I can't imagine living in a cluttered home.

    Answer by gertie41 at 7:55 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • guess what? I just got a email from my housemate saying that a appraiser will be her to take pictures of the house.
    now I'm REALLY glad I'm not as bad as my relatives!
    now I've got to go through and really clean up in about a day!
    and here I had a nice plan to do it little by little.


    Comment by ItsMe89 (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2010