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Am I over reacting?

My mom seems to not take me seriously as a mom. I go over there from time to time (almost every week) and she always tries to tell me what to do with my children. With my oldest (14 months) she always calls her "HER girl" and it sorta upsets me because I carried her for 9 months so she is MY girl. I get over that though, sorta. Yesterday I was over there and I had just finished breast feeding my 3 week old and he was still wanting to suck, but he wasn't hungry and my mom is trying to force me to breastfeed him. Every 2 min she would say "Becky he is hungry" or "You need to feed him now" or "He didn't get enough, he is still hungry". I know my son, and I know what he does because I am the one around him 24/7. So I gave into breastfeeding him, and he didn't want to, but as soon as I put him in his car seat and put a pacifier in his mouth and rocked him, he was fine and fell asleep. How do I get my mom to let me be a parent?


Asked by Becca1189 at 3:01 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,561 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • It may never happen, but you need to stand your ground where it is meant to be stood. Your mother is being mother, that is all she knew, now you have to show her how to be a grandmother and that takes time and patience on your part. but your learning that anyway as you are a mother yourself.

    Answer by LadyLotus at 3:04 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like she is just being a mom and grandma. I wouldn't worry about it!! My mom calls my 2 kids "her babies" or "her girl/her boy". It doesn't upset me at all. In fact, I am SO thankful she is around them and I love that they are going to grow up being close to their grandma. It's nice to see when I do see other families who aren't close at all...or grandparents that act like they don't really care to much for their grandkids. As I have heard from numerous is the best thing in the world to become a grandparents. The saying "Grandkids are God's way of thanking and blessing the parents for putting up and raising their own kids". Let it go...let her be a grandma :-)

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 3:15 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • To answer your main question, yes you are over reacting. You sound very young. You ask how to "get my mom to let me be a parent." Your mom has no power over letting you parent or not unless you give her that power. You are the mom. Your mom will put her 2 cents in as all moms do (you will too some day when you're a grandma) and you have the choice to take the advice or not. Take a deep breath, stop trying to get your mom's approval, and just enjoy your life as a wife and mom. Also, don't ignore everything your mom has to say, annoying or not, she will be right from time to time. My MIL drives me crazy telling me I'm over feeding the baby all the time (and I've BF 3 babies, so I know what I'm doing by now), I just smile and tell her thank you but I know I'm not. I tell her the baby is happy and healthy and that's all that matters and then I go about my day. But sometimes my MIL is right about other things.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 3:17 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Let her be a mom and grandma, us old ladies don't realize instead of helping were really pissing you off, and really all we want to do is help and love you and baby or babies........sometimes we just don't think and we should, but if you can just give her some slack for now and let her share herself with you and your babies it will be great memories and some good laughs later in life.......GL


    Answer by zbee at 4:31 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • talk to her straight out adult to adult

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 3:02 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I have, numerous times, we have even gone to a therapist and I have talked there, but it always ends up turning into her saying "You're over reacting, I'm just trying to help." Her help has turned annoying.

    Comment by Becca1189 (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2010