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What do you do if your child does not want to go to their fathers house? Should I let her stay home or make her go?

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Mom63601

Asked by Mom63601 at 8:00 PM on Oct. 24, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (14)
  • Has she told you why she doesn't want to go?
    little.miss.mom

    Answer by little.miss.mom at 8:12 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Find out why she doesn't want to go! Talk to him about it.. as long as he's not a total ass.. he will understand.
    Haileysmomma820

    Answer by Haileysmomma820 at 8:12 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I have a good friend with this same situation. Her ex is a jackass, and her daughter hates him like there is no tomorrow. My friend refuses to force her daughter to go to his house and I have to say I agree with her. I wouldn't force my child to go either
    Seana1

    Answer by Seana1 at 8:16 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • It depends on the reason she doesn't want to go see him. It's probably in the custody agreement that he have visitation right? If it is I would think you would have to send her unless you yourself see a reason why she shouldn't and in that case you would probably have to get legal advice on that issue. Depending on how new your situation is it could be any number of reasons. Start with trying to get her to talk about her reason/s for not wanting to go to her Fathers house. I hope I've been able to help a little. Good Luck
    happy2bme7

    Answer by happy2bme7 at 8:16 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • If there's no good reason why she doesn't want to go, I'd explain to her the importance of spending time with her father. There may come a time that she'll have to stay with him, like if you have to have surgery, go stay with family in the hospital, etc., and it'd be more awkward if she didn't get used to spending time with him now.
    Assure her that she'll always get to come back home and to think of it as a vacation for her to go stay somewhere else for a couple of days.
    If she's 12 or older, I think she can decide on her own if she wants to go or not. Not really sure about that though.
    I'd talk to her alone & tell her to let you know if anything happens while she's with her Dad that makes her uncomfortable & you can try to tell her what you'd do in that situation.
    Good luck, I know it's stressful, I've been there, done that.
    jon6pat

    Answer by jon6pat at 8:21 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I delt with that with my oldest when he was younger. It took a lot of conversation but I eventually found out that he wasn't getting along with his father's wife.
    What I did was talked to his dad. I explained to him my son's feelings let him know that he can't get upset. This is about the child not about his(dad) feelings. WE sat down with my son and talked to him about it. WE were able to get them to agree to go out and do fun things alone before going back to dad's and eventually dad had to get a divorce cause this women wouldn't treat my son fair. Good luck. Hope your able to work it out.
    nightowlmama4

    Answer by nightowlmama4 at 8:58 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • I feel it's unfair a father has to fight to see there kids,when time is already limited.
    I would tell her she has to go and if it's due to a real reason go through legal channels.
    Think how you would feel,also she is the child your the adults do not let her manipulate things,which kids will during this time.
    Kids need to feel they can depend on both of you without reprocussions.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • "think of it as a vacation for her to go stay somewhere else for a couple of days."

    {That statment is wrong,that is her other home where her other parent lives with rules,support,love,guidelines.}
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:26 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Speak to your child. If she doesnt want to go, there might be something going on and you should never push her into an unknown situation.
    ivetastic

    Answer by ivetastic at 9:30 PM on Oct. 24, 2008

  • Even if it is odrered by court..I would talk to her and find out why she doesn't want to go. Depending on why should detemine weither you should make her go are not. It would help to talk to her father about it, maybe he will work with you and help you find out why she doesn't want to go, it could be as simple as she doesn't like his house rules. I know my mom never pushed us to go with our dad but there was a reason, he is an alcoholic, and drank the whole time we were with him, so that was kind a givin at the point. I think you should find out the reason before and talk to him before comeing to a decition.
    Izzyscrazymom

    Answer by Izzyscrazymom at 10:36 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

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