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When a boy picks up my daughter for a date is is wrong of me to think he needs to bring her home?

My daughter was told she could go to the movies but we wouldn't pick her up. So her boyfriend said he would pick her up. Well his mom called him and said he needed to come home. So he wouldn't be able to bring her home. We had to drive 45 min to go get her. I want to ground her from going with him for 2 weeks. She thinks this is harsh. What is your opinions. Please if you are going to go off on me or my child then don't worry about answering.

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martinmommy26

Asked by martinmommy26 at 4:10 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 16 (2,752 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • I don't think you are wrong. I don't know what the whole situation is with his mother having him go home so he couldn't take your daughter home but it doesn't sound right and he should have taken her back home. If that happened to my daughter, that boy would be smart not to darken our doorstep again. I doubt he'd like the conversation my husband would have with him.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 4:13 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Well I don't think it's HER fault if the boyfriends parent's made him come home (unless she knew he had a curfew or something and just wasn't responsible?). I'd talk to them and tell them your expectations for when they are out together and express to them that you think it was a bit unfair that he more or less left her stranded.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:14 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • No very fair, the other mother basically left your kid stranded somewhere. I would be mad if this was a girl that did it or a boy, to my kid.
    beyondhopes

    Answer by beyondhopes at 4:15 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • While I DO believe he should drop her off if he picked her up, I don't agree with you grounding her because of something HE did. It sounds like the original plan WAS for him to drop her off, but that changed because of his mom... Doesn't sound like it's his or your daughter's fault...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:15 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I think it is a bit harsh. It sounds like he was trying to follow what his parents asked of him, I think you should encourage that. I don't see picking her up as that big of deal but I have to drive about 45 minutes to get anywhere so that does not seem like a big deal.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 4:16 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I wouldn't punish her for that, it wasn't her fault and how would you feel if you got stranded in the middle of a date..exactly, she's already been embarrased by the situation
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 4:18 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • do you know why he had to go? did she know there might be a problem? why was she 45 min. away?

    Hard from your short story to say if it was "too harsh". If this is an on going issue with her and her boyfriend making half ass'd plans then I think you are spot on. If this was truly a fluk then it might fall under "too harsh". But hard from the story to tell.

    I have a 15 yr old (we dont allow her to date, nor do her friends drive)... but I have HUGE issue with these half planned events. I dont want to have to call each and every parent to make sure they are actually planning on driving... the kids should be old enough to figure these things out (I do call to make sure a parent is home if it is a sleep over/ hang out situation).
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 4:20 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would not grounding her for dating this boy. How old is she first? Teens do better if you set rules and tell her you hope she dates boys that respect her and the rules. This is a good way to get more freedoms.
    He should of told his mother he would have to drop off his date first and than come home. But if it was a emergency than that is different story.
    I would be happy to pick my girl anytime.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 4:23 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • it doesnt sound like you should be putting it to her that SHE is grounded from going out with him but that HE is grounded form taking her more than walking distance form home.
    cassie_m

    Answer by cassie_m at 4:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I dont understand why he didn't drop her off and then go home? If his Mother truly told him to come home and suggested that he leave your daughter there, then your issue is with his Mother, not him. Your daughter certainly didn't do anything wrong.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 4:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

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