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I will ask again...but with more detail.

My 21 month old son has been going through terrible seperation anxiety today. It was awful...anywhere I went if he wasn't right next to me he would panic and start bawling. I work at a daycare so it is my job to take care of the other kiddos along with my son who comes with me. Part of this may be a jealousy thing now but when my boss would try to distract my son, he would panic even more and cry for me. This is breaking my heart but at the same time confusing me too. Why on earth is he doing this? Do most 21 month olds do this?

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Asked by leann74016 at 6:54 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 16 (2,449 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • usually they're over that phase by that age

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • thats what I kinda thoght too butterflyblue19 but I don't know whats going on?

    Comment by leann74016 (original poster) at 6:57 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Kids have the strangest motivations. We never really know why any human, child or adult does something. But you can try to make this easier for Him.

    If you have a sling or wrap that you could strap him to your back with, then you could get other stuff done. Or maybe he wants to "help" you do your work. A special job to do might make him feel closer to you. Like be in charge of choosing a story to read with the whole group. Or be in charge of inviting a group for a story.

    Answer by ecodani at 7:02 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Is it possible to put him in another class. He is having a difficult time with you not giving him your total. This happened at our preschool. So the daughter was put in another class and she is fine. She was 3-4.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:03 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • tootoobusy...that would be a great option but unfortanately its an in home daycare so we don't really have classes that seperate us. I wished we did though.

    Comment by leann74016 (original poster) at 7:05 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • My cousin has worked at a daycare for YEARS and she said around 2 they do that and again at 4. The just want mommy :) enjoy it though wont be long and he wont want to be anywhere around u and u will miss it

    Answer by Ross2010 at 10:45 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Actually, while the average age to be over seperation aniexty may be younger than your son is now, it's not unusual for a child of his age to still be experiencing it. That fact that you're there but not *there* could be contributing to it. In other words, can he see you? It's not jealousy per se, it's seeing you and not understanding why you can't just come when he wants you to. :) If you can make it work, ecodani had some good ideas. Can you keep your son invovled with what you're doing but making him a "helper?" When you can't, offer him reassurances.

    And remember, this *IS* a stage. It's a normal stage and he's really not too old to be going through it. My 2 were both about 2 when they finally outgrew it. There were kids in their 3 yr old and 4 yr old preschool classes still dealing with it. Heck, I have a 6 yr old Daisy Scout in my troop that won't stay without her mom staying with us or she gets upset.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 10:50 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • He's doing it because you're not paying 100% of your attention to him - he's jealous of the other kids. I go through it every time I have nursery duty in our church.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • my daughter is 2 1/2 and clingy so I can imagine if I was caring for others she would be jealous.

    Answer by hill2 at 11:49 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I dont think its out of the ordinary to have separation anxiety at this age, Children get it at different stages and ages for different reasons. I think especially so with boys.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 6:09 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

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