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6 Bumps

would you give him another chance?

ill try to simplify this as best possible. long story short, my oldest's bio-dad removed himself from her life when she was 1 and just recently decided to come back, she is turning 4 in a week. anyway he wanted to tell her the truth, because she calls my husband daddy, since he's been there since she was 6 months. and i, being the stupid woman i am, decided that i love my daughter and as much as it SUCKS she should know, because he will stick around if she knows the truth. WRONG! no contact in A MONTH since the big bang. he said he'd call every other day and see her once a week, and it lasted just that, a WEEK. ill be damned if im going to call him. him and his wife are horrible, nasty people. luckily she hasn't asked for him, and when given the option still wanted to call him "josh" and call her daddy "daddy". anyway, just sitting here thinking IF and WHEN he calls, should i let him in AGAIN? how many chances will it take!?

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 8:43 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I would not give him another chance, he has had plenty and failed, the emotional welfare of your daughter is at stake here, she is more important than him.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:50 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I WOULDNT!!!!!!! 3 YEARS WENT BY, Im sorry I wouldnt if your husband loves her like his own then good. Shes 4 shes going to start understand why hasnt my real dad called? Screw him! He apparently doesnt give two shits.
    kiansmom0423

    Answer by kiansmom0423 at 8:46 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • IDK. On one hand, he probably won't come around much anyway. I certainly wouldn't call him. That's for sure. This is going to be very confusing for her. Just do not trash talk him and his wife at all where she can hear you. Let him hang himself, he's bound to do that anyway. Let him make his empty promises. If it starts to affect her, then put a stop to it. But up until then, let him come around every 3 years as he's done thus far. Just don't let him take her anywhere.
    Raine2001

    Answer by Raine2001 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • welll, if there is no danger of abuse or yelling or scariness,.. or real nastiness... then you should let your daughter know who he is.. she doesnt HAVE to call him anything SHE doesnt want to this is about HER and even her father dumbass lol should feel that way... maybe supervised visitation or some phone calls are okay... it is so hard i have total experience in this... my husband has been abusing me physically and now i have to let her have supervised visitation with him and his family... yuck!! but what can you do unless they are HURTING the chidl directly it is hard to ban any contact with the father of past. just be WATCHFUL and VIGILANT about how it goes... if you see anything freaking weird in her behavior DO NOT ignore it because its easier... file an emergency motion to amend visits and get it heard. i dont care if you are married divorced or not. let your current good guy husband or man testify., be careful
    silverelf

    Answer by silverelf at 8:48 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • heck no! Tell him being a DAD is a full time job, not a part time job..and that if he really cares that he will go get a lawyer and set up a plan to where he can see his daughter on a set schedule. he wont do it, i promise
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:51 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • bumped you!
    older

    Answer by older at 8:51 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I agree with kiasmom0423 you might let her know WHEN HE DOES call other than that forget him. He has to prove himself first and he isn't starting too good. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:52 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • thats what i did..its been 3 yrs..and he is paying child support...he is so lazy to care to see him though he wont go through with getting visitation set up and i wont allow him to see him unless he does
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:53 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • No I wouldn't give him anymore chances and right now your daughter doesn't really know him and that may be for the best. My oldest daughters dad was a jerk well he still is and she just craves his love even though she considers my husband to be her real dad. Don't let him back in he blew it!
    Momabear455

    Answer by Momabear455 at 8:52 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would open the door but I would not count on him to be there. You could say you were the one who left the door open so there is no way he can say you did not write everything down and keep a record. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 8:53 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

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