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after almost 6 years...

If you were with your SO for [nearly] 6 years and s/he still wasn't willing to talk about marriage being in the near future. What would you think? How would you feel?

I think it's never going to happen. And I feel like I'm wasting my time.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I wouldn't have waited that long. We dated for 3 years and it was only that long because we were still in college. If someone can't make a commitment after a year or so, then they probably won't.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 9:09 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • I would probably feel the same way you do, but a piece of paper does not a marriage or good relationship make.

    Answer by older at 9:10 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • im so sorry. this has to be heart-breaking for you.....yes, you are wasting your time : ( move on. it will be tough at first but you will be glad you did it and if you want something to come back to you, you got to let it go....

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 9:11 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • you are wasting your time in fact you have wasted 6 yrs. i would move on. can't afford to waste more of your time. the right guy might be waiting for you but you with this guy who doesn't know if your the one. if he knew he would of asked by now the fact he hasn't tells me he doesn't feel your the one.

    Answer by melody77 at 9:12 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • when i was 18-22, I waited FIVE years with NO SEX for marriage... ONE WEEK before the marriage he said he might be gay but he thought us getting married was so beautiful. SO i got married. Divorced two years later. .... fast forward to three years ago... I waited 18 months NO SEX for a guy who was inproson for nothing serius just a lot of technical contacts with ex during protective order... then married him and he was a jerk or behaved like one... be careful YIKES is all i can say. I have only had three biggewr relationships in my life and yhey all have been hard., i have not had good cards in love at all. everything else, but not love... which i have wanbted mnost of all!!

    Answer by silverelf at 9:12 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • Took Df over 5 years to propose. He said he would have sooner but he wanted it to be special and wait til we could afford the wedding he knew I wanted. I would come right out and ask him..."Am I wasting my time?" Good luck.

    Answer by jenae_gist at 9:13 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • If you feel like you are wasting your time, then you probably are.

    DH and I were engaged after 4.5 months, but we were already talking about "the future" after 6 weeks.

    I knew a girl who waiting 10 yrs and they did get married. I knew another who was still waiting after 13. The amount of time you can deal with is a personal matte.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 9:17 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • ive asked before/told him i feel like im wasting my time and he gets mad and defensive. tells me i can leave if thats what i want. 

    one time he told me "i just dont want to have regrets"


    um...what am i supposed to take from that?


    Answer by Mom.Since07 at 9:19 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • If you want to be a married woman, I think it's time to issue an ultimatum--either the marriage happens or I would be departing. If you have children, you do need to consider them.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:30 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • a lot of men propose when they are offered ultimatums. if you do that you need to be prepared to walk away though...and don't look back if it doesn't happen.
    usually we need to follow our guts.
    try not to force something that wasn't meant to be, something sooo much better may be right around the corner!
    good luck!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:33 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

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