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divorce....and loving again

I'm going through a divorce...long story short my husband does drugs, has cheated on me, refuses to get a job, and has hit me a couple of times. The last straw was him telling our 2 year old that he hated him and did not want to be a part of his life or mine on our son's birthday. I kicked him out and he has since been apologizing and trying to make it up and I am over it and have told him so. My question is has anyone been through this and have you been able to get over it and love again and if so how long did it take you? If you have any negative answers such as that I should try counseling to reconcile with my husband I would appreciate it if you keep it to yourself as I didn't have enough space to go into all the details of how poorly he has treated me. I just want to know if it's possible to trust men again or if I'm going to feel this way for the rest of my life....

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:28 PM on Oct. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • Absolutely. First comes the healing, though. While healing, look for things within yourself that are wonderful and believe me there are! This will help you start to value who you are. I was in an extremely abusive relationship for 3 years and finally got out. Once I started loving who I am, I no longer was afraid of him (or anyone else for that matter). I have since been blessed with two wonderful relationships, my boys daddy and after he perished in an accident, another astounding man. Good for you for taking that first step!

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 9:34 PM on Oct. 5, 2010

  • How badly do you feel that you have been hurt physically and emotionally? If you say really bad, do you really want to go through this again? How did you feel when he told your son how he felt about him? I know that this was really uncalled for, but sometimes people say things without thinking. You need to ask yourself if you really think he is going to change, deep down in your heart, I'm sure you already know the answer to this.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:00 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I have been divorced. My marriage was a lot like yours it sounds like & it was over emotionally long before the ink was dry on the paperwork. I was ready to start dating right away. I met my now DF about 4 months after I left my XH. It was love at first sight. I will however recommend that you seek counseling for YOU, not to reconcile with your ex but to learn to deal with your trust issues, you self esteem, etc. Good luck!

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 1:20 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

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