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Step-mom of 11 yo boy going through puberty

He's only with us on weekends ( a little more now that it's summer) and it used to be fine, but fir the last few weeks he's ben driving us CRAZY! Last week I gave him writing some assignments (he's a HUGE slacker when it comes to writing/reading) and to top it off I made him write 50 times "I will finish what I start no matter how hard it seems" trying to drive the point home. He got about 7 sentences into it and began sighing and trying to bargain me down! After an hour, yes an HOUR, he finally finished and I hugged him and told him I was proud that he had finished. I tried to explain to him that even when things on't come easy, you have to stick with them until they're done. He always nods his head and says he understands, but often repeats the same thing, and often within hours of the conversation or punishment! He's a very smart kid and I don't understand why he doesn't get this stuff! HELP! I don't wanna be annoyed or yelling at him when he's with us.

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Asked by ptstepmom at 9:59 PM on Jul. 2, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (6)
  • He's got alot of hormones kicking in. Sometimes, HE doesn't know why he does what he does. He sounds like a normal, if sometimes irritating preteen. It's probably going to be tough 11-12 and then it will likely get somewhat better. I would read up on the preteen/teen years. You probably will find he is absolutely normal and it's you that has to brush up on how to cope!

    Answer by manna1qd at 10:12 PM on Jul. 2, 2008

  • I have been through the same thing. It's not you, you're doing what you should. Keep at it and don't let the child get the best of you. Yet at the same time, give the child some room to breath. He's at that age and things are happening to him that we can't do anything about. Good Luck!

    Answer by mamakell1174 at 12:08 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Stay strong, Here is a good writing assignment. Learning self control is one of the most important lessons I must learn. I am responsible for my own behavior. In the future I plan to change my behavior so that I behave appropriately..... 5 or 10 times works well my daughters teacher made her write this alot in school, now I have hung on the wall.

    Answer by bunco at 1:04 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I would back off. Kids are smart and usually have lots of things going on and sometime the best approach is to let them be. If you push to much they never going to come around. I would try talking to him and listening. Ask him questions and really listen to what he is saying to you. If he is only with you a short period of the time and you are always yelling during that period of time then he probably doesn’t want to be there. I know it is hard, I have an 11 year old and it is very frustrating. I have learned to take a step back he will come to me when he needs to.

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 6:30 AM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • I would back off a bit. I mean who wants to write for an hour when it's summer time. They get enough of that in school. Yes a little writing can be good, but if he doesn't finish, don't push it, give him a break. I have an 11 year old too. Sign him up for some fun things to do like day trips and swimming.

    Answer by Mozie at 2:59 PM on Jul. 6, 2008

  • I agree. Its summer! Lighten-up on the academics.

    Answer by auntiezita at 9:20 PM on Jul. 7, 2008

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