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3 Bumps

I find it difficult...

I find it difficult to say no to people. I mean really. If its in my power, I'll do it. But I've noticed people take advantage of it sometimes. Example: A woman said to me, "Do you know why I'm mean to you?" I said, "No, why?" She said, "Because I know you'll forgive me!" What was I to do with that? Get mad? Why? She was the one that was having issues.
Its crazy, I know. My sister is the same. Her kinds run all over her and do nothing to lift a finger to help her. What do you find difficult to do sometimes? Plz keep it clean. Thank you

 
Prayerpartner

Asked by Prayerpartner at 3:55 AM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (10,072 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I too have been struggling with this in recent years. Many excellent organizations seek my professional help for free. Add to that the school and religious events and it is too much to do. I have been using this technique: don't say yes when asked. Tell whoever is asking that you will get back to them when you check your schedule. Now that you have some time to respond, examine the request. "Will this be the best use of my time?""Should I be driving them around or home doing laundry?" Things YOU need to get done can be scheduled. This way, if something is really important you will have time to reflect and then say yes. ALSO, if they pressure you by saying they need to know now, you have the right to tell them you can't respond that quickly and they should ask someone else.
    Whimsee

    Answer by Whimsee at 9:00 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I don't keep my mouth shut if i have something to say i say it and if someone thinks they are gonna run circles around me they are mistaken. I will tell someone how i see it and how i feel and if i hurt your feelings then i am sorry but i am or never have been someone to keep my mouth shut about my opinion.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:58 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I find it difficult to not get upset when people treat others badly eventhough it's really not supposed to be my business. I have a very strong sense of justice and right and wrong.

    BUTTERCUP777

    Answer by BUTTERCUP777 at 4:12 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Through the years this has happened less and less because I have stopped being peoples stopping ground. I care for those who treat me well and pray for those who don't, but I can't let ppl walk on me, my family needs me to be there for them and not a mess because someone has ripped me apart.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 4:14 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I always have been quick to voice my opinion on stuff that I think just isn't right. Although, I still have a few that feel they can walk all over me and I will just be like oh okay do whatever you want to do! Um, yeah that would be a negative.. I hate that so both my sisters feel like I have anger issues because I won't just be sweet to anybody that is trying to be ugly to me. I just laugh at them.. but oh well I made the choice a couple months ago not to speak to either one of them when they showed their butts for the last time.. Long story short.. I happily pay five extra dollars a month to have them block from calling me... =]
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 4:51 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I know what you mean. I don't wanna be seen as a jerk for saying I don't wanna do something. But then I get mad at myself.
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 6:43 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I was the same way for a loooooooooooooooooon time and then realize that I was being taken advantage of in a whole lot of situations
    When I started saying NO then it was what's wrong with you or you changed, who made you upset?
    Inheritingkids

    Answer by Inheritingkids at 8:32 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Also, you can't control your sister's life. If she sees you taking control and not being a doormat, you may serve as a good example.
    Whimsee

    Answer by Whimsee at 9:09 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Starting now, whether you think they really need it or not, tell them no. Tell them that you have nothing left to give but love and support for whatever they need. Tell them you'll pray for them but that is ALL you can do for them at this time (or ever).
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 9:16 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I have certainly been a door mat for lots of people. When it started to affect my health I started saying no. You'll find out who your friends are, but you'll feel better. And I never give money any more! if they need something I will buy it, but the cash is never given. I think no matter how difficult or how uncomfortable it makes you: say no.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 8:41 PM on Oct. 8, 2010