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4 Bumps

Is this his fiancee's right? Do I have to ask permission tomake decisions about my own stuff? Does he even have a right to act the way he did?

I have a TV that I bought 3 years ago for $1600. I sold it to a friend for $500. Anyway, df came over for dinner and asked what happened to the TV and I said I sold it... He preceded to completely tear me a new one for A) not asking his permission to sell it in the first place and B) for not even selling it for the right price. Even though this is a TV I bought before we even dated... He went from that to me not understanding the value of the daughter and that as his future I need to learn that I don't make any decisions w/o consulting him first... I've never cried so hard in my life and he just said " well now you know what happens when you keep stuff from me...I trust it won't happen again."
Normally, I do ask before I do certain things because I agree with being a little submissive as his future wife and don't want to fight. But in this case, I don't fel like this was his decision to make bc this was my TV ???


Asked by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (27)
  • Ok so i agree with mrsleftlane about how it is a controll thing but that does not mean that you need to leave husband is the same way....i make and sell jewelry and before i started selling it i had to ask him what he thought would be a good price so he didnt flip out on me for selling it to cheep or some bs like that....if you guys did not have another tv then i would understand him being upset or if your tv was bigger then the one that he had then i would understand him being upset but other then that then no he went overboard...With a man that is more controlling you dont have to do everything that they say but make sure you get their opinion of it before hand so that they feel like they are in controll of the situation....Thats how i have to do EVERYTHING with my husband...sometime it sucks because i cant do something at the drop of a hat but its not that bad...Im sorry he was acting like this though..GL!

    Answer by Shelii at 10:32 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I'm sure you know this is NOT about a TV. It's about control, and you need to put a stop to it NOW! It will just continue to get worse, and you should not be treated this way. I think it's time to move on, and not with him! GL!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:23 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • It's bs and you know it.

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:26 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • This is a way for him t control you. Has nothing to do with the TV, and you aren't married yet.You are practicing being submissive? If you are going by the Bible, it says the husband is supposed to do that to. It's not a one way street hunny!

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • yes, i have to say the whole situation was about him controlling you. I guess if you don't mind having your entire life controlled by a man, than go for it, but i would really think hard before continuing with this relationship. It will only continue to get worse, and can't even imagine his temper after you are married!?! GL!

    Answer by young-not-dumb at 10:28 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Your not married yet so it still is your tv and was your decision. Maybe in his mind he is thinking that you guys are sharing your stuff because your getting married and he feels that he should get a say in the stuff. I understand both sides but I think next time I would tell him I was thinking about selling something so he knew but the decision is yours if its your item.

    Answer by Tab2 at 10:29 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • First I have to totally agree with MrsLeftlane. This man is trying to control you. What you need to do is set him straight. Your things, Your decision and no matter what you don't need or require his approval or permission to do what you want to do with what belongs to you. I know it will be hard but if he comes at you again like an arrogant Ass then you have to hold strong and stand your ground and maybe you need to think about what a future with someone like this will be like.

    Answer by Cheveyo1 at 10:32 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Musicmom- No this is not bible related at all. Just the way I personally feel things should be and he was raised to believe the same. I am not sure control is the word I want to use but I don't agree with this... If he felt like I didn't value his opinion, why not just tell me that... I am hoping it was just a knee-jerk reaction coupled with some unrelated stress from work... We are supposed to talk about it on lunch today.

    Answer by BriHan06 at 10:35 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Wow....Just wow. If you feel you should be a "little submissive", that's your call, but seriously, he should not have treated you the way he did, that's just wrong. I hope that when you talk you'll state that you do value his opinion, but he should value yours and at least be respectful even if he doesn't agree.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:41 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • The explosive temper & unreasonable expectations & controlling nature of his man scream "RUN!" Run and dont look back. Leave before it's too late! He is exhibiting classic abusive behaviors that are likely to become worse over time. You did nothing wrong so dont let him convince you that you did. If you dont believe me, call the Domestic Violence hotline and see what the experts have to say. Good luck

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 10:46 AM on Oct. 6, 2010

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