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She wont leave me alone..

So, my dad and his wife ahve been married for about 8 - 9 years. And theyre going through a divorce. My dad left her the house, and he bought a mobile home & is fixing it up. But he doesnt want anyone to know anything about it yet. Well, my stepmom has never gave a crap about me or my sister. Which is one of the many reason theyre marriage didnt work out. (Its a long story but if you wanna know message me) Anyways, she put all kinds of hateful stuff about me & my sister on her myspace, cause I was a crazy teenager, but I move out at 16 after I got pregnant & it knocked some sence into me. And I have straightned my life up tremendously. But she put a bunch of stuff about me from when I was 15!? So I sent her a message & told her I didnt appreciate it, that I was an adult, and a better person now. And she apoligized. But she continued to bash my sister, who is only 14 btw. But now, shes being extremely nice and (cont'd..)

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Jessica1991

Asked by Jessica1991 at 12:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 14 (1,438 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • (cont'd) she's commenting on my status's and on my FB wall EVERYDAY. Like, yesterday was my dad's birthday. And he went to her house & got his card from her. Then he came to his house & we had a little party with a couple close family members. But after I got home I checked my FB, and seh commented my status, posted on my wall, sent me 2 messages.. Its starting to get weird! I dont want to be mean, but the only reason she's talking to me is to find out stuff about my dad. And when they first split up she asked if we could stay in touch, and I told her yeah. But now I realize she doesnt want to stay in touch with me, its my dad. So what should I do?
    Jessica1991

    Comment by Jessica1991 (original poster) at 12:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Contact myspace officials or whatever because she's slandering your sister, they can take it down if she won't. Remove her from your friends lists on both sites.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • On good thing about technology is...you can un-friend people. I think you have good reason. They are divorcing anyway, cut off people who don't appreciate the chances you gve themto be good friends and mutually contribute to your life.
    Mommee42boyz

    Answer by Mommee42boyz at 12:16 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I dont want to completely ignore her. She was my stepmom for over 8 years. So I do care about her, and I know its just as tough on her as it is my dad going through this. I just dont know how to tell her that if she only wants to stay in contact to gossip, then i will block her. But I would like to stay in touch for reasons other than that.
    Jessica1991

    Comment by Jessica1991 (original poster) at 12:18 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Problem being she can now knows to hide it (or set it to private) so that from your perspective it'll "seem" like she has stopped. She is free to blog and write comments all she wants on her personal space, but if she mentions you guys by name, then you can take action.

    Here's the thing, tho, as long as she's telling facts, then she's not saying anything that doesn't already exist. Yes, its embarrassing but she's allowed to say things as long as she doesn't mention names or point fingers.

    I'd report to Myspace, but keep in mind they may not do anything for awhile (if ever) and all she has to do is unfriend you or turn her stuff invisible to you. Or lay low and put it back up (if she's copied it) after the heat is off, even set up a whole new Myspace profile (since they let you have as many as you want apparently). Good luck
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:37 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • It comes down to boundaries. Why don't you just tell her what you are telling us? "Your behavior is making me uncomfortable, I feel like you are bing nice to me for information, and i don't like it when you bash my sister. I want to be in touch, but if this continues I will have to cut you out of my life"
    That simple, communicate.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 12:37 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • she could even set up a blog somewhere else that you don't know about and resume from there.

    she probably forgot you could see her Myspace stuff. I wouldn't be surprised if it stops soon (because she's set up shop on another site perhaps or made a new profile).
    Zoeyis

    Answer by Zoeyis at 12:39 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I see nothing wrong with her being nice to you but if you don't like it just block her.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:50 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Just let her know that you want to keep in touch as she has been a part of your family for so long but that you need to set up some realistic boundaries for it to work. When a relationship like this changes it is only natural to reevaluate things- now you can have a friendship as two adult women but it will be different than when you were step-mother/step-daughter. For example, it is not right for you two to talk about your father. Obviously your first allegiance is to him and it puts you in an awkward spot to be asked about him or to feel like you are put in the middle so that topic should be off limits. The same goes for your little sister, let her know that whatever their disputes may be your sister is 14 and if she needs to be defended you will absolutely be there to back her up and be on her side. I would think if those two boundaries can be met a relationship can work. For FB just tell her you can't always reply.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:09 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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