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DO YOU BELIEVE A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE BASE IN TRUST??

MY HUSBAND JSUT FINISH TELLING ME THAT HE REALLY DOES NOT TRUST ME I NEVER GAVED HIM ANY REASON NOT TO "I LOVE HIM" AND I DEDICATE MY LIFE TO HIM AND MY KIDS. HE FEELS THAT ONE DAY I WILL LEAVE HIM. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, TO MAKE HIM FEEL SECURE ANY SUGGESTIONS???

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nona971

Asked by nona971 at 1:56 AM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (16)
  • well i believe a relationship should be based on love, but trust is extremely important. some people are just very insecure, he needs to be constantly reminded how much you love him and would do anything for him, and that he's the only one you'll ever need. but i don't know how to show him you'll never leave him... i'm an insecure person and i worry about my husband a lot, but i don't know what he could do to calm that fear. i think its something i need to work on, so maybe your hubby does too? does he have any abandonment issues from his past - are his parents divorced?
    llansky

    Answer by llansky at 2:04 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Hmm.. I would flip this around. Often people that are not trustworthy don't trust others. Has *he* cheated in a previous relationship? Or been cheated on? If you haven't done anything to warrant his behavior, this isn't an issue with you. This is something with him. I would talk, talk, talk. Have you asked him what it would take for him to trust you? Does he even know? Is he open to counseling? I don't really think you can "fix" something like that without him acknowledging this isn't anything you have done and it is something *he* needs to work on.
    Serafyna

    Answer by Serafyna at 2:38 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I think the two of you need counseling together. As suggested earlier is his mistrust because he hasn't been honest with you? A relationship has to be based on trust to last. You need a competent professional to help the two of you get to the bottom of this.
    Makata

    Answer by Makata at 7:13 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I'm going to jump on the band wagon and suggest counseling. There must be a reason for his lack of trust.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 8:18 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Well I cheated on my hubby once before and that was 3years ago and he knows that I did that and he tells me when ever I go out that he doesn't trust me and I ask him so why don't you leave me and he say I love to much.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • He needs counseling because this is his issue and there is probably nothing you can do that will change his thinking with out some kind of counseling.
    lanckn

    Answer by lanckn at 8:51 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I just went through the same thing with my S.O. of 5yrs. He told me he didn't trust me and thought I was seeing someone else. I was not. I soon found out that he has been seeing someone else for the past 3yrs. So let this lesson be known, if he is doubting you for no reason, he is probably the one that is cheating on you!!!!!!!!
    lookn4trulov

    Answer by lookn4trulov at 9:05 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I believe so. Love only isn't enough for a stable relationship. But not trusting could be that he doesn't trust you to keep your word or to manage the finances well? Or is it that he doesn't trust you to be faithful? If it's that he doesn't trust you to be faithful and you've done nothing wrong, he has. I'm hopping on the counseling bandwagon. If nothing else, you'll be able to find ways to build stronger trust.
    mommalady

    Answer by mommalady at 9:19 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • no, i don't think it should be based on trust, trust is easily broken.
    chyna_doll

    Answer by chyna_doll at 9:34 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • No it should also be based on Communication, Love, Respect, the list is endless. Sometimes the one doing the accussing is the guilty one in the relationship.
    lapcounter

    Answer by lapcounter at 9:55 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

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