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What would you do with a DH/SO...

That clearly has ulcers but will not eat right, quit drinking whiskey and coffee and generally will not take care of his own health?

I do not mean to sound unsympathetic but this has been going on for over a year and it is getting worse - he is complaining all the time about his stomach hurting but will then drink 3-4 shots of whiskey in one night?

He wants to go to the Dr. who will then recommend an upper and lower GI and they will tell him that he has ulcers and that he need to eat right and quit drinking! This occured previously about 2 years ago. What woudl you do?

Answer Question

Asked by chefronswife at 1:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Health

Level 15 (2,045 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Give him an ultimatum. Go get help or your leaving because you do not want to watch him kill himself.

    Answer by Misteh at 1:14 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Honestly, I would give my SO an ultimatum (sp?). I would tell my SO he quits drinking and follows the advice given to him or I'm gone. I would tell him I love and care about him too much to stand by and watch him destroy his health. But that is just me.

    Answer by nmmama09 at 1:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • It takes alot for someone to "reach bottom" and it is not your problem. I try to stay compassionate, and understand that certain things are harder for some people than others. Everyone has something thay are trying to improve or dealing with, it just may be something different. Also, I had a stomach problem (not from drinking) but the doc gave me Nexium, and I am a new person now. It is a shame I lived for so many years with such a problem, wish I would have gotten it sooner, it really changed my life for the better. Try to stay supportive, hang in there, you never know, the day you leave may be the same day he chooses to do something about it! Good luck, hope he feels better!

    Answer by Emymom5 at 1:26 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I would make sure that he goes back to the doctor again. And when he is told to change his habits, help him change them. Do not buy the whiskey. Do not get his shots for him. Make the eating habits different by cooking differently, buying the right kinds of foods, etc.

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 1:42 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I would honestly tell him to go to the dr, even though you already know what they are going to say, and you go in with him. YOU tell the dr that he is refusing to stop all his harmful behaviors and have the dr tell him what will happen if he continues this behavior. Then once you get home, if his habits don't improve and he continues to complain, just tell him you do not want to hear his complaints until he decides to do something about it. When he has to stop whining about it, he might just realize that he needs to get it together. My DH always says if you don't want to do something about it, don't complain about it.

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:47 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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