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What to do about 13 year old daughter in denial about weight problem.

My daughter is about 20 pounds overweight. She had a physical recently and has gained 12 pounds this year and grew one inch. The doctor does not think she will grow much more. She insisted that the scale was wrong and tells me she is not fat. No, she isn't what I would call fat, but the doctor said if she continues to gain she will be on her way. She is a picky eater and if it's a food she likes she will eat too much. She also eats very fast. I don't know what to do. I keep healthy food in the house and don't buy junk food. I don't know what she is eating at friend's houses. I don't want to hurt her self esteem, but I can't just ignore this. She does play soccer in the fall and spring, but other than that she is not very physically active. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • Maybe ask her if she wants to join the gym with you and then go together a few nights a week.

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 2:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I would start doing a family walk everynight after dinner....

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 2:58 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • It sounds like you are keeping fairly healthy food in the house. Maybe try to limit her quantities, but still make sure she gets enough vitamins and nutrients?

    Maybe you can try doing more physical activities as a family that she would obviously be involved in. Like walking or riding bikes every night, or going on hikes on the weekends, things like that.

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 2:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Y don't u and your daughter spend quality time together,join a gym,or go for daily walks,at least 15 to 30 minutes each time, u can talk and unwind and get refreshed. My son and I always walk!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I wouldn't discuss the weight too much with her, it will give her a complex and you don't want to give her an eating disorder down the line. Put her in swimming, it's a year-round sport and it's incredible exercise. Also, make dinner earlier and don't let her have snack before bed.

    Answer by SabrinaBean at 3:10 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I agree with the others here, I'd suggest setting aside time in the evening to take a walk together. You could also look into the YMCA for activities you could do together, or even joining a gym and going together even its just 30 minutes a night.
    Keeping only healthy food in the house is a plus, fruits, veggies, light cheese, lean meats - no snack foods. (I only keep healthy food as well, my children eat fruit, yogurt, veggies and lite ranch dressing. I will occassionally by them fiberone bars they are pretty filling).
    When you cook make just enough for each person to have one serving or if you prefer to have left overs, then make her plate and put the rest away.
    I think staying active here will be the key, and maybe a discussion on healthy eating habits, exercise and concern. I wouldn't push too much or continue to bring it up, but a healthy conversation and ensuring you are leading by example.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 4:19 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Relax Mom about the eating.If you make to big of a deal she might develop a real eating disorder just to appease you. straving, binging, throwing up! Scary scary stuff. Shes 13. She hasnt discovered herself yet. , puberity often will cause weight gain and then drastic loss. Boys will help with that too as they began the shopping around for the girl friend mode. help her keep a health esteem. Thats more important. Not to mention not all girls are suppost to be size 4. My oldest daught is a size 14! She is beautiful. doesnt drink, do drugs or change boy friends like I change underware! Think about whats important. There are worse things out there to worry about and your daughter is getting to the age to where shes going to be influenced by more than just pizza. Her self worth and self esteem will be the deciding factor. If you dont accept her the way she is then why should she? Dont borrow trouble before trouble borrows you..

    Answer by lacyjones at 6:10 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Let her be!! She is going through puberty and may just even out. If she is happy with the way she is, then leave her alone. If she is healthy I don't see the problem with worrying about what might happen. She seems to have good self esteem so stop trying to make it worse.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:20 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • You could always just say it like hey hunny the doctor is a little worried about how quickly ur gaining weight, and ask her how she feel about her weight. Maybe get other tests done like a thyroid test. Also, as far as eating fast that's just grose especially when women do it! And tell her that be like babe slow down! Or be like ewww look how fast that lady is eating, that's so unattractive men hate that! Lol

    Answer by lilma0608 at 9:00 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I agree with daughter is 15 and many lbs overweight but is loosing it slowly on her own...not because of diet, exercise or school's because her body is catching up to her finally and evening itself out...I would never ever tell a teen girl she is "overweight or fat" ever because that is how they end up with serious psychological and physical eating disorders!


    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:34 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

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