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S/O of the 'spanking S/O'..

if you spank with your hand, what is the difference in using your palm/open-hand and using the back of the hand?
i would think that a palm would hurt more..wouldn't it?? (and as someone stated, spanking is not supposed to be used to pain a child)


Asked by dullscissors at 3:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Parenting Debate

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Answers (8)
  • i can see a parent reaching over and giving a kind of flick with the back of the hands, but i'm picturing mostly fingers is what contacts the child. the open hand hurts more because of the sting, i think. but like i said, i wouldn't smack anything other than a diapered bum, or a rude tap on an offending hand. if you're going to spank, using the back of the hand, i think one would need to use more force in order to make the desired point, and as pp said, the bones of the back of the hand would give quite a bit of pain, i would imagine. and it's just the action. backhanding a person just does not communicate respect.
    i think an open hand hurts more because of the sting, like i said. i hope that made sense.

    Answer by AngryBob at 5:06 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • ooh, wow, this is going to get interesting.
    i think the idea behind a spank is more the sound, to surprise or scare the kid more than anything. which is why it's not really effective on a kid outside of a diaper. cupping the hand and making a loud sound on the bum is usually what a kid needs, when a thousand "no"'s don't work. if the kid still doesn't understand, then spanking isn't going to work, either, so a different form of parenting is needed.
    personally, i think ANYTHING that deals with being hit with the back of the hand is abuse. you don't backhand a child. ever.
    i was physically beaten as a child by someone other than my parents, so i know the difference between corporal punishment and abuse. neither made me a particularly violent person. i think people that abuse their children - well, there's a special place in hell for them.

    Answer by AngryBob at 3:14 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I always use the open hand as i have more control. Also i agree it doesn't need to cause pain. I've had to spank "hard" maybe once a year with my kiddos and usually can just lightly tap (i hit mosquitoes harder) them to get them back on track. It works for me at least!

    Answer by nrfountain at 3:16 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Spankings aren't suppose to tickle

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 3:33 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I spank my children, and I see no reason for it to cause pain. But there is a big difference between spanking and backhanding... The back of the hand is bonier, and hard, the palm is not... My children are spanked, not beat, open hand, on the butt... The point isn't to cause pain, it's not to control, the point is to make a point, to have a child understand their actions are wrong - I don't see what that has to hurt anything beyond their pride...


    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 4:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • i'm not disagreeing with you, sabrina..i was seriously curious about the why some moms were definitely against back-of-the-hand spanking. see, i tried it on myself..against my thigh, and for me, i couldn't do much 'harm' (ie: get my attention) to my thigh with the back of my hand. when i spanked it with my open-hand, it was easily harder, and hurt!
    maybe the difference is more for the parent, who can control (or can't) how much they hurt they put into a spank with their palm..rather than actually hurting the child with a spanking. obviously, another difference, but could be argued about whether to spank at all, is the parent controlling themselves, rather than lashing out and spanking automatically??? idk, i'm just trying to think through these things.
    try it, ladies. it hurt more with the open-hand.

    Comment by dullscissors (original poster) at 4:36 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • it does make sense..angrybob. (love your screenname!)

    Comment by dullscissors (original poster) at 5:41 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • lol sweet. i've been up for over twenty-four hours, and so who knows what i'm talking about

    Answer by AngryBob at 6:28 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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