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how can i get my hubby to understand i cant have a third child

My husband and i have 2 daughters but he really wants a son but i had REALLY bad depression issues with them and are still haveing them and i dont want to put myself through feeling awful all the time and the thoughts of being a bad mother. I have tried to tell him why i just cant have a third baby but he doesnt seem to be getting it. What are some ways that i can try to get him to understand. (FYI i cant get him to to pay attention or talk for more then 2-3 minutes...and im not kidding)

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If he can't give you enough time to respect you by listening then why should you give him a third child?? Do you want another one? If so then there are great medications for depression that will really help you enjoy being a mother. If not then may you guys could consider adoption. Its always an option and would be a wonderful thing for a poor little baby without a family.

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:30 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • well if you cant talk to him for even that long then he will not get it passed his head that you cant really handel a 3rd child and you are just fine with 2 kids.

    Answer by effie777 at 8:31 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I dont really want a third baby cause i raise the 2 i got by myself already and its not his fault he works 7 days a way from 4am to 7pm sometimes later but its not like he can quit its the militery. I dont ever have any time to myself and with both kids haveing a medical condition its really hard...Ive brought up the fact to adopt later on down the line but he said it wont be the same cause its not his son. but what if we have another girl is going to push for a 4th. And i know there is no way we could afford another child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • If you see a therapist for your depression (and I hope that you do) take him along to an appointment and discuss it there. Perhaps having that conversation with a professional will help him understand how serious PPD is.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 8:58 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Sheryl Crow said it best in the song "Soak up the sun" -- It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
    You are using common sense and respect for your children by deciding not to have another child. Your husbands steadfast stubbornness about wanting a boy child of his own blood speaks volumes about his immaturity level.
    Your concern about the ppd is valid. With your history of having it already, you are more prone to it, but you know that. Medications are not a cure all for depression, and you know that too.
    You have made a good decision, stand by it.

    Answer by MomShawn70 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Tell him when he can 100% guarantee you'll have a boy, you'll have another child. Since we all know that's not possible at this time, maybe he'll get the picture. Talk to your PCM and see about medication to treat your depression or even therapy. If your PCM prescribes it or puts in a referral TriCare will pay for it. Make sure you are on your birth control!!!!! It's your body and you know that you cannot handle another one. Good for you momma for listening to what it has to say. If he's not listening now, you can scream until your face turns blue and he won't listen. So just make sure you're taking proper precautions to make sure you don't get pregnant because he won't.

    Answer by mommalady at 9:40 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I would maybe take a couple years to get your depression straightned out and then see where you are then, I know its hard I have 3 kids going on 4 and raise them alone because their father works so much!! I was severley deppressed with my 3rd pregnancy and didnt fix it before this one and its been hard....I would try to fix things and let the Dr know about your issues and they can usually fix it before you get pregnant again.... Again i know its hard but you cant blame a man for wanting a son!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 10:44 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • 1. depression is common and you can get help for that
    2. therapy might help you communicate to your husband with help
    3. hold old are your kids?

    Answer by TXdanielly at 10:59 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Tell him you'll have a third the day he becomes the birther and you become the sperm donor, lol. These other ladies are right. If you can't handle another one, listen to your instincts. You know yourself better than he does. If depression is bad now, another one might put you over the edge without treatment, and you don't want that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Yes there are no guarantees on having a boy..Take care of your self..Sense he doesn't want to listen to you why have another baby with you..Are you just a baby making machine for him??


    Answer by louise2 at 12:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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