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my husbands 19 yr old neice (mother of 2) is not a very good mother and I don't know what to do?

She brought her 1 month old daughter to our house one day last Jan. because she was homeless, we took her in and I along with the rest of the family became very attached to this beautiful little girl. Over a 6 mo. period we tried to show her the correct way to care for her but she still doesn't do what is right. She now lives on her own with the baby and the babies father. Neither of them take very good care of her and it just kills me to stand by and watch.I don't know what the answere is,they don't abuse her but they basically use her for a welfare check and housing. In my household, I feel like I'm the only one tore up about this.Has anyone else faced a similar situation or have any advise ?

Answer Question
 
anichols1

Asked by anichols1 at 6:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 20 (10,058 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • well with people like that you need to be careful on how you come off if you are too blunt then they can get scared and shut you out and then you will have no way in to see how the baby is doing...befriend her and teach her the ways its just about all you can do...IF SHE IS ABUSING THE BABY then do what you need to do to protect that child and get her in a safe zone...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 6:15 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Wow maybe they just need a little time to mature I was a parent at 19 and not afraid to say I sucked so maybe she will get better as she matures?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:17 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • the world is a shitty place filled with shitty people, the best you can do is give her the right information and all the advice you can give her, it's up to her what she does with it.. you can't really make her do anything though, it's like telling someone all the negative effects of smoking and then they still decide to smoke, what can you do? People are stupid and you can't fix stupid.

    prettymama0607

    Answer by prettymama0607 at 6:18 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • What is it that she is doing or not doing that makes her a bad parent?
    seturkey

    Answer by seturkey at 6:21 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • i agree with the above that with the factor of her being young she may need some expertise. most of us are stubborn though and don't really want to be told that we're doing it wrong. i don't know of any way you can come across that won't sound offensive. my advise would be to just keep doing what you're doing and don't interfere unless there is abuse or neglect going on.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:23 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Introduce her to cafemom!
    martinmommy26

    Answer by martinmommy26 at 6:24 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • she doesn't clean bottles (they are discusting), she doesn't feed her right (only a bottle) she doesn't give her nap time only in the car on the run, hardly gives her a bath, unless she visits with us, rarely changes her bed sheets (actually found mold underneath) I could go on and on!
    anichols1

    Comment by anichols1 (original poster) at 6:27 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • she doesn't clean bottles (they are discusting), she doesn't feed her right (only a bottle) she doesn't give her nap time only in the car on the run, hardly gives her a bath, unless she visits with us, rarely changes her bed sheets (actually found mold underneath) I could go on and on!

    ok the dirty bottles, under fed, un-clean, and MOLD can be neglect. you should've tried to take pictures of the mold on her bedsheets. you could report her to cps, they will investigate, but then be prepared for the shit to hit the fan.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 6:29 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • call dhr on her or teach her how to be one,,or then again why is it your concern
    cook224

    Answer by cook224 at 6:30 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Then you need to give her a scare...i am sorry but any child being NEGLECTED should be put in a proper home...thats called child neglect...its your job to do something if this is what is going on...if she is not feeding or providing a safe environment then this child life is in the line...
    iNk-FrEaK

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 6:31 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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