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am i asking for too much here?

my birthday is tomorrow, on a thursday. my husband has a bowling league thursday nights, but i was hoping he'd be ok with not going this week, since its on my birthday. i'm not expecting anything big, or for him to do anything or buy me anything, i just want to spend time with him. but he said hes still going, and asked if i wanted to go with him, but its from 6:30 pm to maybe 9:30 or 10. he said we can go to a late movie, but i dont want to be out that late, cause i have to work the next morning and take our daughter to school. i just feel like bowling is more important to him than i am, if he cant even miss it for one week. he already substituted for someone in a league monday night. i don't ask for much from him, and this is making me feel like he doesn't appreciate all i do for him or around the house. over the past 5 years we have lived together he hasnt done any laundry, dishes, cleaning, anything.

Answer Question

Asked by julianasprotege at 6:53 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (37 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • You are not asking too much, I would be very hurt and angry too. Not sure what you can do other than to get tough with him and hope he changes his ways. Sorry you are going through this.

    Answer by shanlaree at 6:56 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I don't think your asking for too much! I hope he comes to his senses before he winds up losing you!

    Answer by Darla47 at 6:56 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • hes usually very considerate of me, and usually plans on spending our birthdays together, i don't know why it's different now. he just got back into bowling a year ago maybe. and hes been in a league since then. i just don't know why it's such a big deal for him to miss it for one week.

    Comment by julianasprotege (original poster) at 6:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • You aren't asking too much you should be the most important person to him, Can you ask if maybe you can do it on the weekend. I really think he should just forget the bowling though

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 7:01 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Why not ask him to spend some special time with you on Friday night? We almost never celebrate our birthdays on the actual day. If the point is to be made to feel special, it does not have to be done on a certain day. If I were you, I'd go bowling with him tomorrow night, skip the movie and ask for a rain check for Friday night. I don't think it's worth a bunch of hurt feelings and broken fellowship over what night he spends with you. Perhaps he feels he has made a commitment to his team and he wants to honor that. To me, that would denote a man of character and not someone who is just being cold-hearted.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:05 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • nannyb, i would ask to celebrate it friday night, but he works nights. i just got a part time job, and i work during the days while our daughter is at school, and he works at night. his days off are monday and thursday. he already went bowling monday night, and plans to go again tomorrow night. so there really isnt any other time we could do anything.

    Comment by julianasprotege (original poster) at 7:12 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • nope not at all

    Answer by san78 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I do not think you are asking much of him at all. You should have never had to ask him to take the night off, He should be willing to want to spend time with you on your birthday. If this is something you both have been doing for a while now he should have had it all ready set to have someone switch with him. He should be honored to have a wife like you and be willing to take 1 very special night and have it planed out to spend this night with you. Not take a rain check he knows what your birthday means to you and he should step up to the plate and enjoy the night with you. Happy Birthday to you :)

    Answer by sissywilcox at 8:20 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Is there a way you can spend time together before he goes bowling? Say dinner out or maybe an early movie?

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:52 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • OMG!! lol it sounds likt my hubby (bowling.. not bday) i dont think you are asking too much. birthday, valentines day, and anniversary.. day to treat the wife extra special! :)

    Answer by Ross2010 at 9:03 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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