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6 Bumps

How would you tell your child that you are dying?

I have a pretty complicated situation. I haven't been on here since my son was born 16 months ago and I just found that I might have 3 years TOPS to live. I have Myelodysplatic Syndrome which is essentially bone marrow failure. My son may be 3-4 if I end up dying as estimated and I don't know how I would address that to him when he's a little bit older. I'm thinking maybe a letter or some video taping.

Anyways, I pose this question to you all. How would you handle this situation?

Answer Question
 
greengirl106

Asked by greengirl106 at 9:53 PM on Oct. 6, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 3 (14 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Enjoy every min. Keep a journal written to him with my thought and feelings that day and video tape the things I want him to hear from me. Favorite books, 'the talk', my thoughts on dating or and religion and college. Every thing I want him to know from me. I can't imagine the pain I would feel for not seeing my child grow up. I'm so sorry.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 9:57 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Do the video taping for sure so he has something tangible of you.

    I am sorry to see that you have this and the burden that is on your heart. Enjoy your little one and do not burden him with death. Perhaps preparing him with "Mommy has to go climb the stairs to heaven" (if you are a believer) or some other such thing. I really do not know what is good to tell you about that. Just live to each moment. Hugs to you.
    MaryWolfe

    Answer by MaryWolfe at 9:59 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. I don't really know what I would tell him. What I would do, though, is write him letters for different stages of his life. Like a letter for when he gets married, the things I would want to tell him at that time. When he has his first baby. Graduates from high school and college. Going through puberty. Things like that. Hugs!
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 10:00 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • chances are at 4 or under he wont remember-- and older then that and you can explain it

    make sure you have a Will as to who is going to care for him and I'm not trying to be cynical or callous but a decent $$ to get him a good education from you to him is a big deal
    MELRN

    Answer by MELRN at 10:00 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Am sorry, would be hard to be in your shoes!! If it were me, i think i would video tape you guys together, having good times. A letter would nbe nice to, just somethin he could look back later in life, and be able to remeber everything about his momma :)
    ashcrash

    Answer by ashcrash at 10:02 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. What everyone suggested are some great ideas. Lots of pictures, too.
    toobigfrogs

    Answer by toobigfrogs at 10:11 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I am so sorry. Like others have said chersih every moment you have with your child I am sure you are. I think the video tapes are a good idea. I think I would tape special things you guys did together so when he is older he could see what a wonderful mother you are. I would write down special thoughts you had about him or life in general and maybe when life gets tough for him he can look at those letters and reflect. I do not think he will understand when he is four but he will eventually and l think by leaving special notes and tapes he will still have a part of you with him. Again I am so so sorry about your situation. You are in thoughts and prayers !!!!

    ramajil

    Answer by ramajil at 10:13 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • I'm so sorry. Like the others have said, make every moment count. As far as telling your child, I wouldnt know what to say. Just let him know in words and deeds that you love him and always will.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 10:43 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • Hugs
    Video tape and notes for when he is older. This is an awful predicament to be in. Enlsit the help of his pediatrician. They will also have age appropriate ideas for you.
    Again, hugs.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:09 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

  • If you cook I would make him a recipe book. So he or his wife in the future can cook some of his favorite meals that you had cooked for him. I really like the idea of writing him letters especially for the special occasions. Lots of videos and pics. I hope that your situation is being married w his dad or at least on good terms if seperated cause its important for his father to carry on your memory as well. WOW im so sorry cant even imagine. Just remember to live each day to the fullest so you can jam pack his brain with wonderful memories of his strong loving mother. And if you are a believer trade in some reg bedtime stories w thought and stories of heaven so he can has a strong belief to help him get through this. Once again im so sorry and I pray that your docs are wrong or that you beat the odds by many many years.
    mymestey

    Answer by mymestey at 11:11 PM on Oct. 6, 2010

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