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Help!! What would you have done!!

My son is 4 and we have a neighbor that has a daughter that is 8. We had them over for dinner and the kids went upstairs to play games well I went to check on them and seen there daughter taking my sons pants of and touching his penis and she was making noises like having sex. So I grabbed them and told her mom she said dont do it again I was pissed. Well the next day we talked to my son about this and he told us that she did it all the time and put his penis in her mouth and kissed him. Im so pissed!!! So I went over and talked to my neighbors and told them. I also went and told my other neighbor that has a son a year younger. Well the next day they came over and was yelling and screaming at me now none of my neighbors will talk to us or let there kids play with mine. Did I do the right thing?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:42 AM on Oct. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • absolutely! i would have done the same thing. is your son ok? this must be really traumatizing for him. honeslty, not to add fuel to the fire, i would call cps. thats NOT normal behavior. where did this little girl pick that up?
    Fanta-Mommy

    Answer by Fanta-Mommy at 11:44 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • OMG yea! That is not appropriate for a kid that age!!! Your son was molested. I would get him into counceling just to be sure he is ok. That is so horrible. I think id have someone investigate the family. How would a child that age learn something like that??? You really need to take it further. You were completely right telling your neighbor. I would want to know as a parent! Its one thing to be curious and look but to go that far is a major problem! That little girl is probably being molested herself. Why else would her parents act the way they did! Report them!
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • i would have done the same thing! i cant believe they are outcasting you!
    they need to do something abput their little girl - what if she is showing these tendancies because someone older is doing it to her?!
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 11:54 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Thanks I know we wonder the same thing is she getting molested? Where the out cast now of the neighbor hood now they are spreding rumers about my 12 yr old
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • i would call or go over to the girls house - maybe they havent thought of it (denial) that someone could be doing that to her...
    i think that even though they are being ignorant you cant sit back and wait until the parents do something ...if that girl is being molested then somone needs to be alert and stop it... even if they dont like you anymore you need to do something for that girl
    vakatia

    Answer by vakatia at 12:02 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You absolutely did the right thing. You protected your son when he needed it. Good for you! I agree with everyone else who said that the girl herself might be being molested. I, too, would call CPS. I would say report anonymously, but since the neighborhood's against you anyway, they'll all just assume you did it anyway, so report it and be proud of yourself for doing good by your son and for trying to help this little girl that apparently needs it.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 12:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • When it comes to these things its natural for them to explore. You should never react this way it sends the impresion that they are "bad" when they are not. Obviously the girl has seen things she shouldn't and a nice calm talk would have been best.
    Talk to your son about what is apropriate with his body, that no one else is to touch his penis, execpt when you take him to the doc or cleaning.
    I also wouldnt have told anyone else directly b/c that starts trouble. I would have mentioned that this happend but wouldnt have said who but told the neighbors to be vigilent about leaving children alone together.
    I am sorry this is probably not what you want to hear but I have worked side by side with teachers and other profesionals and have had this conversation with them many times. Children are sexual beings to we just dont want to think about it that way.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • The way her parents reacted seems a little strange. If she did in fact just see this behavior then they would have been embarassed, not defensive. Any parent whose child does something like that would be hurt and mortified. I know Id be beside myself if it was my daughter. I would be apoligizing out the ass and let them know that it would be handled. The fact that they are spreading rumors about your 12yo child is also strange behavior for adults with children.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 12:19 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • when my yougest daughter was 3 or 4 I found her and a little boy her age laying on top of each other ,,you know what I mean,,,I just told them to get up and not to do that again. And left it at that.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:19 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Also keep in mind that she did this more than once. It is now past the point of curiosity. How did it make your son feel?
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 12:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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