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How do you explain to your 8 year old why no one wants to come to her birthday party?

i am sending out invitations for my daughters birthday party and i know as in years past that none of her school friends will come to the party. Most of them are upper class people and make it obvious they dont want my daughter playing with their kids. Now my question is how do i explain yet again why no one came to my daughters birthday party? Without being mean or spiteful cause i really want to walk up to these mothers and scream at them that their kid is losing out on a great friend just because my husband and i dont make 6 figures. its really frustrating and heartbreaking cause i see it in my daughters eyes that she knows why they didnt come. This is the first year that she has figured out the difference between her and her friends. What do i do to make this better for her and explain that is isnt her they dont like?

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Asked by elananme at 12:55 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 12 (881 Credits)
Answers (26)
  • forgot to say shell be nine on her birthday next saturday!

    Answer by elananme at 12:58 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Wow, I'm sorry to hear that it's aweful, but if this has happened before, why bother inviting kids who you know won't show up? Can you take her away for the weekend, and do something special instead of having a party?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • How about instead of doing a big party you let her invite one friend whom you know will be able to come. Let the two of them do something big like go to a theme park close by or something else that wouldn't be feasable with a large group.

    Answer by at 1:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I think she may be too young yet to be brutaly honest with her. Dont you have neighbors you could invite? Why not just cousins? I would just do what anon said and get away. Try to think about something she's always wanted to do and make it happen. Make it a surprise.

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:09 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Forget the party!! Take her on a trip, nothing expensive, but something special just for her. My kids love going to the aquarium, and we always get a memebership, so we take them there sometimes for birthdays. If she likes to shop, let her birthday be a shopping trip and a nice lunch. That way she can "brag" to those little snots about the day that was spent all on her!! I just don't see why people are like that...grr.

    Answer by RenaeMom3277 at 1:17 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I'm anon12:03 and I agree with Steph319 also, she is too young to be brutally honest. They are small and innocent for just a short while, leave it that way as long as possible. We are not rich either , we live in the "bad" section of town, but my kids don't even know it. I'm grateful for that. Keep them innocent, teach that being poor or rich is not virtuous, but always do the best you can. Sorry to go OT. Let us know what you decide to do. Good Luck


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • wow, looks like you already have great answers. We took our son and a friend or a couple of friends on an outing for his birthday instead of a party.(His first b-day no one came and the one party we had all the kids fought.) He seemed to have just as much fun maybe more and it was also easier on the pocket book.We still had cake and ice cream and all went well. Hope this works for you.

    Answer by kanake at 2:04 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Why would you waste money sending invitations to kids that you know won't come? Agree with all of the above!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • That's terrible. Some adults are worse than children, what a rotten thing to do. If you know they aren't coming, let her ask a couple of kids that will come to have a sleepover. Do something really fun with them. Ugh, I hate this sort of behavior from parents. I've seen it done to children my daughters have gone to school with -- what a terrible example they're setting for their own children.

    Answer by PamR at 3:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • That sucks. I grew up in one of those 6 figure neighborhoods and HATED all of my neighbors! They were so stuck up and err! can't even describe the attitude. Yourds daughters probably better off not being friends with these people. does she have a few close friends you could invite for a slumber party? most of my parties had 3 or 4 guests and we just hung out all night. Lots of great fun.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

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