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Dealing with the ex

I go to college and my school is year-round. I have 11 week courses followed by 2 weeks off. As per me and my ex's agreement, I take our son Mon-Thurs during the break and Sat-Mon when I am in school. Over this past break, I ended up taking the baby Mon-Fri, cancelling a trip to see my step mom which can't be rescheduled for another 3 months, and all of my plans for my birthday. School started again this Monday, and I have my son Mon-Fri during the first week of school as well.
I understand that my ex's dad is sick and I am trying to help out as best as I can. However, I feel the amount of time that I have had my son is purely ridiculous. It isn't that I don't love my baby or don't want to spend time with him, I really and truly do.
When I tell my ex that I have other plans, or that he needs to find a babysitter, he responds by telling me that I put everything before my son.
How can I make him understand?!?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 AM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • you be the bigger person find a sitter and bill him
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 9:36 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Uuuuhhhh your a parent...other plans be damned, baby is number 1 on the list. I have SOLE custody and have my son every single day, i'm lucky if I find time to shower, I don't go out...that's called being a mom.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 9:40 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Honestly, I think you both need to compromise some here. He shouldn't always expect you to provide the child care for "his time", just because he has something to do, but then again, having to cancel plans - even important ones - and having to take your babies / kids with you when you have things to do, or set up a sitter for them, is what parents have to do. Maybe next time you could take your little one with you on your trip? :-)

    I don't mean any of this mean, but it does kinda sound like both of you want the other one to be the primary care giver (the one with the bulk of the "inconvenience" that goes with parenting). My sister went through this yrs ago. What worked for them for the longest time was that they agreed, flat out, that regardless of what was going on, when it was "their time" they had them,and they were responsible for them - hire a sitter, etc - not the other one, unless the other wanted the extra time.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:42 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Uuuuhhhh your a parent...other plans be damned, baby is number 1 on the list. I have SOLE custody and have my son every single day, i'm lucky if I find time to shower, I don't go out...that's called being a mom.
    I don't mean any of this mean, but it does kinda sound like both of you want the other one to be the primary care giver (the one with the bulk of the "inconvenience" that goes with parenting). My sister went through this yrs ago. What worked for them for the longest time was that they agreed, flat out, that regardless of what was going on, when it was "their time" they had them,and they were responsible for them - hire a sitter, etc - not the other one, unless the other wanted the extra time.
    ---
    Both of these answers mirror my thoughts exactly.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:08 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • You are a mom act like one. I understand you are in school, but you have to work your schedule around your child. You child is the top priority. I was also a single mom for 2 years. I had to figure out how to balance a job and child care. I didn't get breaks unless I hired a babysitter. If school just started you might be able to change some classes around the be there for your child.

    I also understand that you baby's father has a family emergency. If you were still married you would be getting a baby sitter to help out in this situation. It may not be your time to have your child, but have some compassion. I don't like my ex, but I still called and sent my condolences when his mother died. I just can't believe a mom is complaining about having to have more time with their child.
    kerijeanbean

    Answer by kerijeanbean at 10:46 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

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