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If your 17 y.o. dd was pregnant and wanted to give her baby up for adoption would you try to convince her to keep the baby?

I'm wondering this because of something I've seen recently. Honestly I would. I would tell her that ultimately this is her decision and it is a brave one! I would also tell her I would be there for her and help her raise her baby. And that once she did give her baby up for adoption there was no turning back. I just don't want her to have any regrets. But I would support her either way.

 
twinmama2five

Asked by twinmama2five at 9:57 AM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (4,667 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I would support her in any decision she made, and have her talk to women that have given up children for adoption, as well as teen moms. There's no right or wrong, IMO, it's about what's best for both children involved.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 10:00 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Yes, I would agree with her. If she doesn't think she can care for the baby and it would be best to give the baby up for adoption, they I would go with her instinct. There are so many amazing eager people out there who would love to have a child. I know one couple in particular. Adoption is a great opportunity for wonderful people to become parents. It doesn't make the biological mother a bad person. She is just looking out for the best interest of her child.
    jacksmom1225

    Answer by jacksmom1225 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • If my DD was strong enough to consider adoption, I would not try to change her mind. It really indicates more of a maturity than anyone realizes. To admit that you are not able to care for a child in the way you would like to is huge. I would get her plenty of therapy before the baby is born to make sure she realizes the enormity of her decision and then after to deal with giving up baby and all the regular post partum stuff on top of it.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:01 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I would support her if that was her choice. If I had such a problem with it, then I would offer to adopt the child myself, or try to find a couple that I knew that I felt would be good parents, and who would possibly be willing to have an open adoption so that I could still be in the child's life... But that would be if I was having a really hard time with the adoption aspect (not being in that situation, I don't know what I would feel about having my grandchild adopted by someone).

    But, the thing is - it's her body, her baby, and her choice. I would rather the child be adopted and given a good, loving home, than have both my dd's and the child's life ruined - because I forced her to keep the baby and she resented the child, wasn't ready to "step up" as a mom, etc. Also, it's a much better choice than abortion!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:01 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I would encourage her to keep it and be there for her. And if she insisted on giving it up, I would adopt my grandchild.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 10:00 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • NO. It is my DD choice and that choice will effect the rest of her life.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 10:00 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I would try to get her to keep the baby.. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else raising my grandbaby.
    SuperrMommyy

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 10:05 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I thank my mother for adopting my child at 17. I didn't ask, she offered.I knew I couldn't give him what he needed. I had way too many issues, which led me to having sex to begin with, and had no clue where to start on them. I have a unique situation and am so priviledged to have this wonderful person in my life. He now comes to stay with me in the summer and on holidays. He has been evaluated, and the situation has been applauded by many prfossionals as being positive, healthy, and best for him. When people ask my son why he lives at Grandmas, he tells them,"My parents were too young to have a baby" He even made friends with a little boy who was teased at school for being a foster child.
    I don't expect everyone to understand it, but that's ok. I know the special relationship I've been so blessed with. I would definitly do the same for my child. I'm so glad I don't have to wonder who or where he is.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:21 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • MrsLeftlane, just because she got pregnant doesn't mean that she was having unprotected sex. I concieved BOTH of my children while I was on birth control AND we were using condoms, to boot. They HELP to prevent prenancy, but do not GUARANTEE that you will not get pregnant.

    I think she is making a mature decision in deciding to give the baby up so that it can have everything that she would be unable to give it. I think that it is her child, her body, and her decision. If she wanted to give it up for adoption, I think that her parents should have the option to adopt it and raise it as their own, but I also think that if that happens they have no reason or right to gripe that they are raising HER child because she didn't want to, because it was their choice to adopt it in the first place to raise it as their own. I would support my child in whatever decision she made because it is her decision, and not mine.
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Yeah, I have to disagree with the statement about if they were irresponsible enough to have sex they shouldn't keep their baby. That is just ludacris. ADULTS have sex and have unplanned pregnancies. I know adults that shouldn't have anymore kids. They did something adults do and need to make the adult decision on what to do about it.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:36 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

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