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I am so mad, need to vent, and would appreciate some input about what to do with my DH...

I've got two kids 4yrs. and 2yrs. They are really into testing boundaries lately! It is so frustrating! Well last night they went with their father (my DH). Before they left I reminded all 3 of them that they were not allowed any treats because they had gotten into trouble. I took their treats away as a consequence. Just what do you think my DH does?! Gives them cupcakes! He said "the kids weren't going to have any so I figured they were behaving so well that they deserved a cupcake!" I don't think so! No way! Now I feel like my authority is shot right to the ground! They are being so rebellious today and not listening to me! How would you all handle this DH situation?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • In all fairness, parenting decisions should be made together as a team. "Reminding" your co-parent of a punishment doesn't have to happen if they are in discussion to begin with. Make sure you are treating your spouse/SO/whatever as another adult and not a third child!

    Do not have discussions about punishments, etc. in front of the kids - go into another room and say "here's what happened and here's what was said and here's why I think it's important'. Get him to buy into the whole "team" thing and the "us against them" philosophy rather than the "Dad's a good guy for sneaking us sweets".
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 9:29 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

  • You just have to sit him down and talk about a compromise in your parenting. You are not going to agree on everything but you need to back each other up especially in front of your kids
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 1:59 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • he is just teaching them that what you say means nothing. Thats not fair and if it happens often it can cause respect issues
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 2:00 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I know, I know! I feel the same way but it seems like we are from opposite planets when it comes to this type of thing! He doesn't see what my big deal is!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • OOOOOOO I am just so mad at him!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • My SO gave our 2yo a HUGE frosted donut right b4 dinner last night!! Who the hell does that? I know how you feel. They just dont think! I swear that men are like robots and are only calculated for sex and no common sense! lol
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 2:14 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • LOL! If that isn't the truth! I mean how hard is it when you specifically tell them something! Especially RIGHT in front of the kids I said "NO TREATS!". The kids understood! He even told me they weren't going to touch the treat table, but he gave it to them! WTF
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You can always turn the tables on him, althoguh that puts your kids in the middle.

    Time to sit down and talk about parenting style. You tow have to be on the same page all the time. At least that's the goal...I've never met anyone who actually acheived it. DH and I have to do a regular checkup on where we are.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:31 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Some Dads just want to look like the good guy. They seem to do everything they can to make the Mother look like the monster! Its not fair!! But what can we do? We're better than that and can't argue in front of the kids. We know better than that. They're just jealous of our skills! LOL!
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 2:32 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • hahaha You're funny! Whether it's jealousy or a lack of common sense or both I just wish I could figure out a solution! My kids are confused. They're probably thinking "mom said no dad gave it to us anyway dang we know how to work dad. I just feel like I can't let them out with him alone anymore and that is sad! I like my time alone. There has got to be an answer. Anybody have a common sense stick? lol
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Oct. 25, 2008