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am i pushing my son too hard?

at 16 months he eats all foods on his own, im potty training (which he has halfway down) , and i just put him in a big boy bed. im teaching him words and letters colors and counting. plus he cleans his own toys and is starting to brush his own hair. he does not misbehave unless we are out eating and even then he is better then most. he seems to be fine with all of this but sometimes i feel like im expecting too much from him even though he excels at everything i teach him. should i stop trying to teach him so much or let it go because he will tell me when he has had enough?

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Asked by LotusBlossom21 at 11:20 AM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 4 (48 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • You sound like me mom :)

    My son has always excelled at everything. He recently was placed #1 out of 140 kids in his unit tests in all subject areas, first grade. He is an easy child.

    I have always pushed him, but tried to keep in mind that if I push to hard, he may push back and that would be horrible. May decide "learning and doing" is just work and not fun.

    So try to keep teaching him fun and make it a game....he wont even know he is learning.

    If he is like my son, he will do it well with or without your pushing anyways :)

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 11:24 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Be careful with the pushing,my sister pushed her son and now he is an adult and hates her and wants nothing to do with her!!!! Pushing can lead to pushing your kids away,forever!!! Be careful!!!

    Answer by dancer at 11:28 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Don't expect anything of your child, just accept. You can gently nudge him, but pushing too hard can have consequences. If he is showing you he is ready for these things, i say go for it. If he is not ready...then i think you will know & you will be more patient. I mean, no one is going to get mad at their 16 month old for not potty training, kids develop in their own time. If he is showing interest in these things, then i would not call it "pushing"..maybe encouraging. It's bad when the child shows no interest in it & the parent is forcing their child, but it does not sound like you are doing that at all.


    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:35 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • You don't have to push. Teaching and encouragement are great and at the child's natural learning rate. Some children naturally excel quicker. If you are pushing it, then it can cause some problems. I wouldn't slow down or back off unless that is the case. They are kids, let them have fun learning.

    Answer by Desi_Momof4 at 11:36 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • thank you all and everything we do is a game even potty time and he loves doing everything . he tell me when he has to go potty and he brings me books to read to him. i guess he will let me know when hes ready or not ready for something. he is my first so i get nervous lol

    Comment by LotusBlossom21 (original poster) at 11:46 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • sounds like you are doing a good job - kids are like little sponges - they absorb everything you teach them - it's what i did with our boys - they both wound up being way ahead in school - in the academically talented classes - took college courses in high school - got early entrance into college - they were way ahead of the game - keep it up - you are being a good mom - i started reading to them when they could sit on my lap without me having to use both hands to hold them up - keep up the good work - it's worth it in the end - also, go to The Learning Store, etc. to buy him challenging things to do - not just dumb games that are popular - oh, buy him some of them, also - after all, let him be a normal kid, too!!!

    Answer by kaysimon132461 at 11:49 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Sounds like you LO is like my LO. She is very advanced for her age and has a vocabulary that far exceeds her cousin who is 4 and mine is 2. She has been cleaning her toys up since she could walk and I expect certain things from her just like you expect certain things out of your child. My DD loves to learn so we make it fun. Right now all she wants to do is read so we have moved onto actually learning to sound out words so that she can be on her way. I say encourage don't push and your child and you will know when enough is enough.

    Answer by coala at 1:30 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Just watch your son for cues. If he's resisting, then pull back. If he shows interest in something, go for it. If he seems disinterested, switch gears. "pushing" is bad. Giving your child access to what interest him is good. :)

    Answer by ldmrmom at 10:18 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I think these are all normal things to teach a child of that age, I taught my daughter these things at this age and she was in a toddler bed by 15mths, she was ready though seeing she climbed out of it and crashed to the floor on her own! I have never put any pressure behind anything we do together. So I dont think its actually the things your doing but you have to ask yourself your motivation for doing it, only you know if your pressuring your child or expecting too much.........maybe you are if your questioning yourself. I would be careful if you think you are as pressure can have to complete opposite affect if your not careful, and 16mths is way to young to have pressure in the equation.


    Answer by Princess_s21 at 11:57 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

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