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divorce advice

Anyone out there that has gone about divorce.I have so many questions. Were you afraid to get advice, How your husband would react, Privacy if just call or go for info and he would not find out. I do not work and only get grocery money,doing backrupty, on no checking account so can save money. He works so I know I would get child support and I have no skills for good jobs. I have done produce, hotel cleaning,factory work, fast food. I do not know if can just make it on child support. Has any of you been able to do just that? If I move or stay here in the same state as him any one know which way is a better deal. I am new to this but I think my 3 girls may be better with out him sometime. any advice would be great I will take anything I can. A a cousler it out of the way. Went that route already and did not work. If talk to him he changes for a short time and then right back to the same way. Thanks

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momindiana

Asked by momindiana at 11:32 AM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,326 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I talked to my x about how bad the relationship was getting and if it got worse I was thinking about divorce. I did that because he was abusive and I needed to plant the seed so he could either fix things or not be shocked when I did leave. I had to sneak to see a lawyer out of fear but glad I did. I ended up filing and moving to another state. It was the only way for and my children. We did go back for a while but ended up moving several states away in the end. You can try a temp agency to get started. Many of those jobs are answering phones, filing and other tasks that need no special skills that you wouldn't already know how to do. If so, they will train you for a job. My dd just got on with a temp agency. She just moved to another state and needed a job fast. She is getting $13.50 just during training and the job itself will be more so you should be ok.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:39 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I have been divorced for 7 years now and it is really hard but it was worth it. The money part is the toughest. Make sure you have child support court ordered and ordered for it to come out of his paycheck! You have to weigh the pros and cons. Good luck!
    goldengrl65

    Answer by goldengrl65 at 11:45 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • You should talk to a womens advocate in your area. They can help point you in the right direction. Call your local social services and they can give you info on helping you find someone to talk to. If you're not working, and have adequate child care, or your girls are on school, then get out and look. You would be surprised how many people are willing to give you the hours you need. Even if it is fast food, they usually like Moms because they're hard workers and can work during the day...
    As for divorce, you need to see an attorney, get the facts, file, and then you can file for temporary support. The first steps are hard, but once you get going you realize you can do it.. I'm not promoting divorce in any way, but if there's any kind of abuse going on, whether it's emotional, or physical, you need to get out... It's not healthy for you or your girls... GL Message me if you need anything!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:46 AM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • AS for the spousel support , do not ask for temporary, If he has been supporting you and the kids and you have been married for 10 years you will be able to get spousel support and in most states you will get it for the rest of his life unless you get married again. I have a friend that got a divorce after 24 years and she now gets 1/2 of his retirement too.
    no1Edonmommy

    Answer by no1Edonmommy at 12:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Thanks for the good advice and yes I have been married for 10 years now.
    momindiana

    Comment by momindiana (original poster) at 1:16 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • The money part will have you thinking about going back. I was lucky and found a great job. It's a hard road ahead. You just have to think about what you want more...
    VanessaMomof2

    Answer by VanessaMomof2 at 1:55 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

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