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5 Bumps

Is it normal for ME to feel the "empty nest syndrome" in this situation??

Ok, my youngest brother is moving out of my parent's house this weekend, and will leave my parents childless! (They have 5 kids).

I'm feeling very emotional about it, almost depressed even.. I feel like everything is going to be different now that there aren't any kids living at home. (I haven't lived there for 3+ years).

We all go over there a lot, even without living there.. but I'm feeling REALLY down about it..

Answer Question
 
FatGirl239

Asked by FatGirl239 at 3:13 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 19 (8,098 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I haven't heard of it before, but that doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid. It is a shake up of your family structure. As everyone in your family adjusts, then I would think that you'll feel more comfortable.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:24 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I always thought it was referred as the following.  


    Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians may feel when one or more of their children leave home; it is more common in women. The marriage of a child can lead to similar feelings, with the role and influence of the parents often becoming less important compared to the new spouse.


    If your own children leave you then I believe you are going through the Empty Nest Syndrome because they left your nest.

    musicmom08

    Answer by musicmom08 at 9:03 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Your love and concern for your parents is making you feel this way, it is a sign of compassion and sensitivity, you will be ok.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:18 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I don't think it is wrong for you to feel this way, it's probably a little different than empty nest syndrome, it's just that the family dynamic will be changing and that will affect you too. I think you should make it a point to continue to visit your parents and have get togethers over there. That way you all still have some sense of 'normalcy', there is going to be a new normal, but you can have lots of traditions that include family...all go over for dinner on a certain night, have holidays over there, etc.
    You'll get used to it, but your feelings are perfectly valid. Try to look at it as a good thing, your parents will get to bond with each other again and enjoy each other company more. And your brother is growing up and starting his own life. I think it sounds like your parents did a great job raising caring, self confident, and independent people :)
    TJandKarasMom

    Answer by TJandKarasMom at 12:25 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • It is normal. I worried for my parents when my youngest sister graduated. I worried for my youngest sister when the rest of the siblings left the nest too.

    Guess what! My parents are enjoying the freedom of the empty nest. It's a new chapter in their lives. Please keep that in mind. They get to rediscover their relationship and to have freedom to visit the kids and grandkids as they please.

    I can see how it can be a bittersweet feeling. It's the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one.
    MomToBeISaMom

    Answer by MomToBeISaMom at 12:35 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I had a hard time with this, especially the last time I left my mom's house before my sister went into the Army. I know that I haven't lived there for 7 years now, but it seems like my sister should still be there, not in Afghanistan. My mom and stepdad are enjoying the freedom though.
    tyheamma

    Answer by tyheamma at 2:24 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Awww that is sweet of you to feel sympathy for your parents.
    Personally, I never felt that "empty nest syndrome". LOL. My kids went to college but lived at home during breaks. After they graduated, one came home to live with us and the other two lived close by too. I never felt the need to be their "counselor" and I didn't have "control" over what they did....especially when they were mature enough to attend college. I had so many other things in my life that I didn't have time to sit around and feel lonely or like I was not needed. But I think Moms who felt that being a Mom was their only role in life and never had a life outside of their home would cetainly feel much more sad and feel that "empty nest" feeling.
    gertie41

    Answer by gertie41 at 8:12 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • You are a Awesome Daughter & Sister for having so much compassion for your Mom & Dad but, i wouldn't Worry or be Down too much about it- Your Mom & Dad might be Jumping for Joy that All 5 Kids have finally left the nest! LOL! i promise they will find something to fill their days with- Hugs:)
    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 9:35 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Are you worried that your parents will go on trips, do all the things they could not do raising children and that your family dynamic will change? It is a valid emotion, but maybe they have a chance to be just husband and wife for a while. I feel for you though.
    Bagofwind

    Answer by Bagofwind at 5:15 PM on Oct. 9, 2010

  • Hes you kid brother, the baby of the family! Yeah i think its normal especially in a close family as yours. theres something about having the baby child still at home that helps you still feel like your still there with them, but when they grow up and leave,,,reality set in. Your family is changing. They are not going to disburse completely. now when you all get together it will be on adult levels instead of parent/kid. You will have holidays at your own homes then congregate to mom & dads for dinner. They will love it and your family will feel more like your own as its now personal. your just moving into a different stage.Hang tuff. You will do the same with our own family some day. But feeling the empty nest is normal, i think. so instead of feeling sad, start making plans for get to gethers as grown ups! Hmmm that can be fun! Grown up date nights.
    lacyjones

    Answer by lacyjones at 10:27 AM on Oct. 10, 2010

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