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marriage advice

We have been married for 6 years and been together for 9. I feel as Im getting bored, we rarely have sex and when we do its because I ask for it and its just same thing everytime. He rarely gives me attention that I need, hes always playing on his phone or computer instead of talkig to me. He treats me like his mom, maid and/or kid not his wife. I dont know how to talk to him without him getting mad and yelling at me. I just wish he would grow up and be a man, I do everything around our house plus work 40 plus hours a week at work. I dont know what to do, I love him and trust him.

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angmarie0925

Asked by angmarie0925 at 4:45 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I think talking to him is your only choice, go easy and just tell him u need more attention. Life is to short not to enjoy. I am sure if you talk nicely to him he will see the light.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 4:47 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Talk to him or go to couples counseling. Sit him down and ask him no t get angry and have a civilized conversation.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:50 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • The harder you try, the further he will drift. Men appreciate the chase, begin by doing outside activities without him. If you have children, take them to the zoo, museum or park. They will tell him how much fun they had and maybe he will be more likely to wish to participate. You should ask him questions regarding something that he finds interesting, after you have already found our the answer to, that way he will be apt to become involved in a discussion.
    Bagofwind

    Answer by Bagofwind at 4:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Bring it up to him as though you're the only one with the problem. You know, "Honey, I'm feeling bored with my life lately. Can you help me figure out how to liven it up? Do you have any suggestions? Could we spend more time together, just the two of us?" Men do not like to be accused but if he really loves you, then he'll want you to be happy and want to help make things better for you. And go to counseling, either as a couple or just you by yourself.
    ceallaigh

    Answer by ceallaigh at 4:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • If you have been his mom and maid from the beginning it really isn't his fault. However, if want things to be different, trying communcating effectively...no blame game or arguing. If that doesn't work than do what comes next in your heart. People get married and get comfy with one another.
    Godswk

    Answer by Godswk at 5:05 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • If you talk to him (which you have to do if you want things to change) then try to approach it as finding ways to make you both happier, and to make your marriage stronger. And you have been thinking about this for a while but if he hasn't you can't expect him to have answers right away. But try to look at things from his perspective- you say he always plays online, never wants intimacy unless you ask, treats you like the maid, etc. But what would he say about you- maybe he thinks you always manage everything and don't even need him. My point is just that he may have things he wishes were different, too, and if the two of you can communicate about those things you might be able to make each other happier. The early years are often easier but this is the time when you can refresh and make changes in a relationship rather than letting it get stale and eventually risking it failing. It takes work though. Good luck!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 5:41 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Don't talk, I'm sure youve tried that,,,,,,,don't talk do the walk. Start doing things that interest you and without him. Even if some are boring act very happy, they love a mystery. Play his game. If your going to be ignored, and unappreciated at least have fun doing it. GL hon.

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 5:50 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

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