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3 Bumps

I get along with my stepson, but my husband doesn't have a relationship with him, do I need to abandon my relationship with my stepson?

My stepson lived with us for three years. My husband was not a very good father. My stepson's mom was not involved in his life. My stepson moved out before his senior year of high school. We have maintained a close, strong relationship. My husband will barely even speak to him. My husband is furious that my stepson and I have remained close and feels like I should abandon my relationship with my stepson because of their strained relationship. My husband feels like I have no right to be in my stepson's life at this point. My stepson is now 19 years old and in his first year of college. My husband has cut him off of his health insurance plan, for which his employer pays 100% of the premium, and has done virtually nothing to help him in about 2 years. My stepson is not a bad kid. He just needs guidance and stability. I am the only stable parent in his life. Should I abandon my relationship with my stepson?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I would not abandon him everyone needs someone.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 6:33 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • No, you should abandon your ass of a husband who abandons his child. Don't you dare walk away from the only support that kid has. His parents are irresponsible. Parenting doesn't stop because you get pissed off. Hang in there. Don't let your husband bully you into this. He needs to grow up and respect a relationship you fostered while that kid was under your roof. You cannot just take it away now. It would be morally wrong.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 6:33 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I would not abandon him. The step-son needs you, and if your husband can't see that, he has a pretty serious problem.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:38 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • No..certainly not and why in the world doesn't your husband have something to do with his son.


    Answer by tracylyn245 at 6:44 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • He is a child. It is not his fault you and his father separated. You are a role model in his life. You may be the only source of stability he has.
    I am understanding that your ex husband is the father of the step son, and you now have a new husband, not related to this boy.
    If this is in fact the case, then:
    Would your husband feel this way about a foster child? He needs to keep in mind this is a child, plain and simple, that needs you.

    Answer by 6girlsrock at 6:49 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • He really needs you. God bless for being there for him. Keep it up.

    Answer by elizabr at 7:10 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • No. He needs to know someone cares. Encourage your husband to build a relationship with his son.

    Answer by Danaefm at 8:20 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Absolutely not. And your husband is showing his true colors, imho

    Answer by MeggieSwan at 8:32 AM on Oct. 9, 2010

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