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How do you politely tell family to back off and let you raise your own kid?

Constantly butting in and saying the do's and dont's!!!!!!

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Asked by Amanda_82 at 6:40 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (250 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Oh,my family can say what ever the heck they want. I don't have to listen to it.

    I've learned that telling them to 'butt out' just causes problems. I listen politely to what they say. I then say "Oh, I'll have to think about that" or "I'll keep that in mind"

    And then I do what I think is best anyway.


    Answer by layh41407 at 6:42 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I put up with it for a long time, and then 1 day I snapped! I told my fil that I pushed that kid out of MY body and I would do whatever the hell I wanted with her......This happened in the middle of disney world...the happiest place on

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 6:42 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Good luck, I finally told my mom that we would raise our kids how we saw fit and if I needed advice I would be sure to call her. Hubby told his mom the same, but she's still sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong. He says I should just listen and then do it my own way. When I've heard enough from her I try to change the subject, when I can't I leave the room. I've blown up at her a few times and at least now when I leave she won't follow me. She used to, still nagging as she followed me through the house (one time she stood outside the bathroom door still ranting). I don't think it would be so bad if her advice was every useful, but really, she will give home remedies for the wrong illness (have an insect sting, you must need chicken noodle soup; have a cold, put baking soda paste on your head...). At this point I'm just wishing she would move even farther away.


    Answer by scout_mom at 6:46 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • that's hard to do without hurting people's feelings. I would listen to what others had to say and then just extract that which might be of useful.

    Answer by CafeMochaMom1 at 6:46 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I know how this can be. But stick to your guns and be consistant. When they say something just reply "Thank you for opinion, but we do things differently and it works for us". If your family sees you bending your own rules, they are less likely to follow them.

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 6:46 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I have to agree with layh41407- let them offer their advice whether you asked for it or not, and then smile, nod your head & say politely, "I will think about that. or I never thought of it that way" Something like that. As long as they're not being critical of your children or parenting skills, let them offer their advice. Some people mean well & dont realize they're being insulting. They're family, so it's always easier to try to keep the peace.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:47 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I don't know but if you find a way let me know. For now I simply listen, smile and say "I'll keep that in mind." and then do what I deem best.
    When it gets overwhelming just keep telling your self that they mean well and overstep their bounds out of love for your children. This ususally helps me hold my tongue.
    Also remember its ok to take in-law and extended family vacations. Meaning you can go a week without talking to them if you need a break.

    Answer by FuzNet at 6:48 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Good Luck I have not figured this one out yet. Mainly my "well intentioned" mother :( ugggg

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I tell them "You had your chance with your children. Now let me try my way with mine"

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:18 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • You dont have to be polite...key word here is they are your kids. If the butt it stop them in there tracks ,tell them you appreciate there concer\n and inpout however you can handle it. My daughter just had our first grand child and I stay completely out of it unless she asks for advise. Everyone raises there kids different and you need to raise yours the way you feel is correct. Telling them to back off when it happens may make them mad at first but they will get it. Dont let it go on stop it when it happens. They had there chance to raise there kids now its your turn good or bad they are yours and its your decisions. best wishes

    Answer by desperateat48 at 7:29 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

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