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So.. she would rather find someone on craigslist than let me babysit....would that make you mad too ?

I am dating a man who has a 1 year old little girl ( I have a 7 year old little girl) ... I love kids and if me and this man ended up getting more serious and maybe one day married I would love to be a great step mom to his little girl ( but not "overstep" it because she does have a mom ) .... Well I have tried very hard to be nice to her mother, my boyfriend has her 3 days a week ( and every other weekend) so I am pretty much with the baby everytime she is with her dad ( he is staying at my house) ....

Anyways, I have always tried to be nice, have convos and just be very friendly with the mom, but she just doesnt want anything to do with me ( which i guess I can understand) ... but I have offered to babysit on the saturdays that we dont have her because she still goes out with her friends, and she says no... but I found her posting on craigslist looking for a babysitter! So she is going to pay someone instead?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:15 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Parenting Debate

Answers (12)
  • I would not take it too personally. It is more the idea of you that is has a "problem" with not you personally.

    It is hard to deal with your ex's new SO. She is being stupid and irrational.
    sassy_brizzy

    Answer by sassy_brizzy at 9:18 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • GIve her a little more time. She is still feeling like you are trying to replace her. Keep doing what you are doing. DOn't push but do offer again sometime. Offer to take her to lunch sometime and get to know each other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • It might just be out of spite so that it doesn't seem like when mom wants to go out daddy takes mom's responsibilities so she can party. I would be irked but just try to let it roll off. From experience, don't take anything personal from her.
    katie23

    Answer by katie23 at 9:19 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Wow i she thinks she nuts. I rather have someone i know watch my kid then some creep off of craigslist. You dont know what kind of weirdos are out there. Even if I disliked the person at least the ex would know the person. I rather trust my ex gf then trust a stranger
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 9:24 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • well, she may not want to impose on your time too. if she paid you a little less than she would pay someone else i could see her being more comfortable with it so she isn't making your feel so obligated. i might do the same too, to make sure you have your private time with your bf
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 9:28 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Ask your BF about his custody agreement. Most agreements give him first dibs at extra time - i.e. babysitting. I hate to call it babysitting when it is your own kid - it is called parenting. BUT....my point is she could be violating the terms of their agreement.

    If she isn't, then, no I would not take it personal. You are with HER MAN and while you are trying to be nice I am betting she things you are a huge Bitch and hates that you are spending time with her daughter.

    Other then that, I do not think that Craigslist is a safe resource for finding a sitter for your child. She should be asking family or MAYBE posting at a local college, not trusting some stranger off the internet
    Maureen-MD

    Answer by Maureen-MD at 9:32 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • she might feel like you watching the baby might come back to bite her in the ass someday...she thinks maybe at some point you would turn on her and be all "oh well i was watching your little girl while you were out doing who knows what with ur friends when it was your day to be with your child why dont you want to spend time with your baby you would rather go out...etc...etc ".....sometimes its easier to keep the Daddy and 'step-mom-g/f'/joint custody thing totally separate...i bet it has NOTHING to do with you personally
    mamagee1218

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 9:41 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Why is this man taking his daughter to his girlfriends on his days to have custody? Why doesn't he have a home? I can understand. You are now but maybe not next week. Where is the stability. Why give you more contact when you are not a permanent?
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:56 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Roll your eyes and tell her you're glad you don't have to do a favor for her jealous butt anyway.
    WomanWitty

    Answer by WomanWitty at 8:10 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • If I was this mom I'd be pissed that my ex was bringing my daughter around strange women. He has days without his daughter...he should be dating then, not when he has his little girl. I don't blame the mom at all.

    Wait - I just re-read your question and realized you are living together?? You are living together, but not serious? You have a 7 year old daughter and this is the example you are setting - "let's just let any guy mommy is screwing live with us." Sheesh. I feel bad for all the kids involved. You guys have a lot of growing up to do.
    getrealmama

    Answer by getrealmama at 11:34 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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