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I need help with a 14 yr old stepson and 12 yr old gf!

My stepson is 14 and gf is 12 and the wantto hug and kiss all the time when they are around each other. Dad and I are not ok with this. Also the gf wants to call all the time. She doesn't understand that we work, have homework, chores, dinner time around the table nightly, sports and fun time. We have recently set a phone rule for 15 before school, 15 after school and maybe 5 to 10 before bed. Stepson is ok with that.
She also makes noise like an animal and alot of nonsense on phone. He has told her to stop that but doesn't listen. We think too many calls a day and to close at this age.
Are we wrong, did fine or just crazy?
The mother of girl is mad at us for phone rule and has threatened to make them break up. We as parents are ok with this, but stepson is upset cause a 3rd gf might break up with him.
Are we too controlling?


Asked by Momof2and1step at 5:59 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • 14 and 12 is way to young for that kind of relationship! If they are do that kind of stuff already, they will progress to sex much earlier than they should too. I can't believe that they would allow a 12 year old to behave that way!

    Answer by amydh at 6:17 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • No way are you too controlling. I think the mom of gf is the crazy one. I cannot believe she is calling before school! That would NOT happen. And the whole kissy business, not around me!

    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 6:01 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • i was in this situation but i was the younger one i was turning 15 when my bf was 17, we wouldnt even dare to hug around our family or parents! i think yous are very good parents and that the other mom is just trying to be " a friend" to her daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:06 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You did good, mama! The girlfriend's mom is apparently wanting to be more of a "cool friend" than a parent. I think the only thing I would do differently is cut out that 15 before school & make the 15 after school into 30, but that's just because the little girl calling my house that early in the morning would drive me nuts! lol

    Answer by heather.huckaby at 7:02 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You're right Mom! He's not ready for all that, and neither is he.

    Answer by shmorris56 at 8:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • No ur not wrong. Ur doing the rite thing. Keep an open line of communication between u, ur ss & ur husband bc this is a tough age 4 boys & girls. And like anon who posted that the gf mom is trying 2 b her is probably rite and shmorris56 posted, neither 1 of them is ready (nor they should be) 4 that kind of relationship and I'm sure ur ss will b upset, but just keep assuring him that it will come in time. As far as her wanting 2 "hang all over" ur ss, no way would I tolerate it. A simple hug or kiss on the cheek I think is enough.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 9:57 PM on Oct. 25, 2008