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6 Bumps

How do i get my husband off the couch? May be TMI.

The man comes home from work and is horizontal until he leaves for work the next day. Yes, he works hard, but it's getting so annoying. He will get off the couch for a few minutes to grab a beer, have a cigerette and/or play with our son, but he's right back on the couch after 15 minutes. He watches the news, then 2 and a half men, then one of his shows and then goes to bed and reads until he falls asleep. Here is why it bothers me....

He keeps begging for sex. How in the world am I suppose to feel turned on watching him do the same thing night after night? I could tell him I want sex and his clothes would be off in .001 seconds, but I don't feel turned on. How do I get him to spend time with me, or talk to me, or switch up his schedule to add some excitement? I have to think of a good way, as he gets offended easily.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • I used to have that problem with my XH. One thing we did to fix it was to agree to a certain amount of tv time a night. He was the same as your DH. By keeping the tv off, we all felt like we spent time together but he still got his 'fix' before bed.

    BTW, that is not why we got divorced...many other issues but this fix really helped.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:34 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • One thing that has helped me was sitting down in the morning with him and having coffee/breakfast together so we can share a few minutes together. My sons are usually not here or sleeping while we do this. We will just sit there and talk do some flirting etc... alot of the times it leads us to the bedroom and one thingi for sure it brings us closer together. You can also talk to him and tell you are taking him out to dinner. Get a sitter and take him out. Just the two of you. just my opinion.

    Answer by Darla47 at 10:39 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Leave him little notes in his car, orlunch or other places he won't be expecting them to remind him of how much you love him. Tell him how much you are looking forward to a wonderul evening with him and that when he gets home you will have his favorite dinner cooked, the tv off and the two of you are going to connect both emotionally and physically. Tell him how excited you are about spending some great quality time with him. Then put the plan into action and do all of those things. Afterwards be sure to not let him forget how wonderful it was to be away from the tv and stresses and to be together again and spend time together. :) Hopefully this will be like a head's up for him not to come home and flop down on the couch but to look forward to your night together. As well it also lts him know how much you love him and that you aren't attacking him about not spending time with you, etc... but gently suggesting. :)

    Answer by Memigen at 10:51 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • My SO and I had this problem, though not quite so severe. First, a suggestion for you.. we women are wired differently. Sometimes we don't get turned on until after we've been kissing, etc. for a while. So if you get his attention away from the TV and on you, for even a few minutes, you might be surprised at your reaction. My SO also gets offended easily, so I kind of went sneaky on him. He LOVES strawberries, and every man gets ideas from whipped cream. I waited until an episode came on that I knew he'd seen before, then came in with a bowl of strawberries and whipped cream and started eating them... slowly. That of course got his attention, and I offered him a taste. One thing led to another, and he didn't watch any more TV that night. While snuggling later, I mentioned how great it had been just to focus on him, and we now set aside 30 minutes to an hour a nite just to be together... cook dinner, walk the dog..other things.

    Answer by KA91 at 11:08 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • men are creatures of habit, so annoying at times, mine spends all his time on the computer. it drives me nuts. so i let him do what he has to do on the computer and when i feel like hes been on it long enough i tell him to spend sometime with me, that one of the reasons i married him was to share time with him. they are like lil boys, they need you to remind them and to talk to them and point out how you feel and what you would like, otherwise they don't seem to know anybettr. if you talk to your husband and he changes his way, he will fall back into his old routine, its just up to you to remind him to stop. if you let them away with it, they will continue doing it.

    Answer by otoole at 11:25 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Ask him to minimize tv time

    Answer by LiLJeni at 6:20 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

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