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3 Bumps

I finally got my neighbor to STOP breastfeeding.. YES I did!!

My neighbor is a chain smoker and she was breastfeeding her newborn (who was constantly spitting up and not gaining any weight).

The lady would finish a smoke and literally in the same swift hand motion, light up another.

I begged, pleaded, kicked and screamed. I asked her to STOP smoking, because I like the idea that she was breastfeeding. She refused, so my only other alternative was to beg her look into milk banks or formula.

She let me in on the fact that she did indeed put the baby on formula. Said she was not comfortable with someone else's milk in the babies mouth. Understandable.

He's gaining weight and he looks so good.

This was a partial vent and partial question. My question is: Did I do the right thing intervening? Would you have done the same.

PS: How many of you ladies were mislead or jumped to conclusions based on the headline? LoL


Asked by 4xsthetrouble at 11:07 PM on Oct. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 21 (11,387 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Oh I completely understand! I saw that you obviously knew her well, and switching to formula made him healthier and gain weight- so obviously it was a milk problem. I commend you for being supportive and watching our for the baby! If it hadn't been for my neighbor my son would have been in the hospital. I had a milk production problem (even talked to the lactation consultant) but refused to switch to formula. She talked to me, supporting the transfer to formula and telling me it didn't make me less of/ bad mother. I think what you did was totally justified!

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:27 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • LOL, yes i was starting to jump to conclusions and get a little pissed from the headline, but i see your point now... and honestly idk if you did the right thing, i hate to think that she was pumping that poor baby full of toxins and nicotine through her breastmilk but at the same time he's still probably getting all that just from the 2nd hand smoke and the air in their house :( I think you're a good neighbor/friend for trying to help though, even if the BEST solution (her quitting smoking) didn't pan out :P

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:10 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Yes you did a good thing in intervening since the baby wasn't gaining and was having other issues but it could have gone horribly wrong since you were sticking your nose where it didn't belong.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:09 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Only because the baby wasn't gaining weight, not because she was smoking. Smoking doesn't always have an effect on quality of breastmilk, but in this case it could. It could also have been her simply not producing enough milk, or numerous other problems.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 11:15 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Yes jademom I stuck my nose where it didnt belong. I can own up to that. And dh told me not to. But the little baby was only 6 lbs when she brought him home, then dropped down to about 5lbs. You could barely hear him when he cried. It was sad. Her doctor even told her that smoking while breastfeeding him was not a good idea and that if the baby didnt gain weight soon he would have to be admitted to the hospital and the situation reported.

    As far as any 2nd hand smoke inside the home. Her hubby, dh and I all helped move things around in the backyard and made her a little space to smoke outside.

    Comment by 4xsthetrouble (original poster) at 11:13 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • @ annabel. She and I talked about that. When she fist noticed how small he was getting. She said she has breastfeed all 4 of her previous children without a problem. She also told me that she was not having a problem producing. Again, this all just what she had told me, nothing I actually witnessed.

    So I assumed (assumptions in some cases can be bad) that it was the quality of milk. And then once she told me of what her doctor said, I really pushed the issues of her not smoking at all. Formula and milk banks was not my first suggestion. No smoking at all was. She was not happy with that choice.

    As far as her milk production, only she knows. I just wanted to make sure lil bit gained weight and was healthy. I would hate for someone to take one of my babies away, I really didnt want that for her.

    Comment by 4xsthetrouble (original poster) at 11:21 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • well im glad you helped her stop breastfeeding, when i read the headline i was thinking" who r u to do that" lol, but i now know u did it for the best health intensions of the baby.

    Answer by gabby06 at 11:36 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • I would have done the same thing. That babies health was at risk, Good for you!

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:37 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • You did the right thing. That baby didn't need nicotine-milk. It sounds like the baby is doing much better on the formula.

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:39 PM on Oct. 7, 2010

  • Um, actually if you're going to smoke, breastfeeding is better than formula feeding in terms of lowing SIDS risk.

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:11 PM on Oct. 7, 2010