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How does one cope........

Ok, my mother passed away in April. My dad since then has already started seeing someone else and is moving in w/her. To another state i might add.So not only am i dealing w/ the death of my mother , i am also having to deal w/my dad moving !

 
leahc

Asked by leahc at 6:52 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (1 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I am so sorry for your loss.


    It must seem to you like you are loosing your Father but you are not.  Your  Father  maybe moving but you he is still your Dad and he will still be there for you.  Maybe set up times where you can talk on the phone. Set dates to see each other. He loves you no matter what.


     Above all else tell him your fears. Talk to him, he is your Dad and will always love you . Just speak to him one on one and as calmly as you can.  It will be alright and it is perfectly normal for you to have the feelings you are having.   Again I am so sorry for the loss of your Mother. If you want you can pm me at anytime. I lost my Mom April of 2007 and you will always miss them but it does get better. Blessings to you


     

    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 7:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • That's exactly what my boyfriend's dad did after his mom died last October. We were very angry and disappointed in him...it's like he was just waiting for her to die so he could date some new woman without a guilty conscience.

    I think eventually you have to either accept your father for who he is or cut off all ties from him. It's his choice to move and unfortunately there's really nothing you can do to change his mind. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, it really sucks :(
    caitxrawks

    Answer by caitxrawks at 6:56 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I think the issues should be separate. Maybe your father is moving on faster than any of you would like, but it is his life. It could be his way of coping. I am sympathetic to you for your mother's death. I lost mine as a child, and my father remarried about two years later, maybe sooner. Try to be happy for your father. I'm sure he misses your mother as well, but he's wise enough to know that you can't live in grief forever and remain healthy.
    rhope4

    Answer by rhope4 at 7:06 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Men deal with the loss of their spouse harder then women. Im sure its not that hes over her. If anything he misses her so much that he feels that he needs to hide his pain with another relationship. He just wants to be happy again and just wants to push everything out of his mind. I would just be happy for him and visit him as much as possible.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:08 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I'm sorry for your loss! You must miss her so much!!

    Old saying--"Women mourn--men replace." They deal with grief differently from women, alright. Seems they replace before the woman is cold in her grave. I have seen this happen time after time.Maybe not ALL men do this, I am sorry for throwing them all into the same boat--there are always exceptions to every rule--but my cousins were devastated by my aunt's death in an auto accident. What did my uncle do? He disowned all seven of them, sold the family home , bought a new one for himself and his new girlfriend in a diffeerent town, and moved in with her as soon as the insurance money came in. My cousins didn't hear a word from their dad again. Neighbor woman dies, less than a month later, her husband has a girlfriend move in.I guess you'll just have to get used to the idea.
    Aprilmorgans

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 7:47 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • condolences on your loss. Dad probably can't deal with the loss and needs to be with someone. We all deal with death differently.I'm sure he loved your mother very much and misses her which is why he is doing what he's doing - trying to fill the void she left so he can get on with his life.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:00 PM on Oct. 25, 2008