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what do you do when someone tells you your child isn't smart?

my son is just now starting to have some consistance in his life bc of the daycare i found. after just a couple weeks, she tells me how great he is and how he's improved w talking. but then his father took him to the doctors, and he says that my son is still behind on his talking by a great deal, and bc of the fact that we a still having a hard time with potty training, that my son may have a learning disability. my son is so amazing. this cant be right. he is smart. what am i doing wrong. where did i let him down and can i fix it or is it to late? if i did do something wrong, he shouldn't have to pay for it. i need some guidance from a mother bc i know i can learn new things instead of talking to a dr and being told my son is stupid or he needs drugs or what ever else they might come up with. what can i do?

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Asked by adnamas86 at 7:18 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (14)
  • Its never to late. I would get a specialist to visit with him once a week in your home to see what it is that he's having issues with. You have to get to the root of it. If he is still in daycare then he's still very young and I wouldnt worry so much. All kids are diff. Whos to say he just isnt lazy? Dont jump to conclusions. If you are worried then have him evaluated and go from there. GL :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Also, you're doing nothing wrong! :)

    Answer by Steph319 at 7:26 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Sometimes the daycare teacher have more knowledge about kids then the doctors. Its sad but true.

    If the teacher told you that he is smart ect. then you have nothing to worry about.
    Doctors only work by books and barely by experience. They have a book and in this it says that a child at age 3-4 has to talk like this and that and those amount of words. Yeah, like every child is the same, right? :-/

    You know that every child is different. My brother had speech problems until he went to school and he wasnt stupid. He was and still is a very smart guy.

    If youre really worried then please go to a different doctor. From your question i think your little one is absolutely fine. you are not doing anything wrong, except from worry too much.


    Answer by m.robertson811 at 7:27 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Having a learning disability is not the same as being "not smart". Not by a long shot. Albert Einstein had a severe learning disability. My son has Asperger Syndrome, and he is incredibly (almost scary!) smart.  So, if it turns out that your son does have an LD, don't worry too much- it doesn't mean he is not very smart.

    Otherwise, if you feel like your son is doing well, don't worry about it. You know your son the best, right?


    Answer by 21stCenturyMom at 7:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • How old is ur son? Every child learns at a different pace. I have 6 children and everyone of them did different things at diferent stages.

    Answer by my6little1s at 8:36 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Truthfully, I would listen to your baby sitter over your doctor on this one. If he was still having these problems before he started kindergarten, then I would get him evaluated.

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 9:08 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Get a second opinion! You and the teacher are around the child more than the pediatrician. Trust me, after working in the medical field for many years.....some Dr.'s practice medicine with common sense, others practice cook-book medicine! They take all straight from a book, without really looking at their patient. All children are different. Do NOT let this bother you! Find another Dr - preferably one with children themselves, and get another outlook!


    Answer by MamaDiane at 9:37 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I dont know what state you're in but I know in Colorado they have a program valled Child Find and it is completely free and if they can diagnose your child with something they will continue to help him for free and his pre school will be paid for by them as well. See if you have a similar program where you live. All kids catch up eventually. I was a slow starter too, but I think I am pretty well educated and have caught up. :) Good luck!

    Answer by LovinEveryDay at 10:02 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • ok..i don't know if u r a christian or not but God is able to move in ur child's life. God works in impossible when dr's or other's say there is no hope..then God opens up the gates of Heaven and pours out his blessings on us..he is able to help ur baby ...just speak positive thing over him..tell him that he does not have a LD..don't repeat what the DR. says ..the bible says the power of life an death is in the tounge..which means we have what we say we have..if we say somethin positive then positive is what we get..if we say something negitive then negitive is what we get...the bible also says to call those things that r not as though they were!..jus tell ur baby everyday how much he is improving and mean it..even if u don't see the improvment right away keep telling him and u WILL SEE THE IMPROVEMENT!!!
    my husband always says "U GOT TO SEE IT BEFORE U SEE IT OR U WILL NEVER SEE IT"

    Answer by JessicaLilly at 11:11 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • Smart kids can have learning difficulties. It isn't a slight on his character and I really doubt the doctor called him "not smart." While he is young is the best time to get him help. Good luck.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 12:03 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

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