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4 Bumps

My marriage is @ a point where I do not know what is happening!

Alright ladies help me out! About a month ago alot of issues arouse with my husband of 5 years...I thought we had worked out the issues but I guess not... He has been talking to an girl for about 2 almost 3 months now and is really into talking to her and almost left me (pregnant and 2 boys behind) all if which his kids. We have been together on and off 9 yrs and together solid 5. I have been his only one. Now it seems I am not good enough, when i ask him he says he is unsure. Mind you we have sex, kiss, etc...like a married couple but then every morning he talks to her and ignores me and then he will text her all day long., I asked that he quit or cut back and he said No.. I dont know what to do I dont wanna leave a marriage and family setting for my kids. But I dont wanna be the other woman. So advice ladies please.

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AbbeyKAy

Asked by AbbeyKAy at 1:47 AM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 11 (545 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • THE OTHER WOMEN!!! don't think this for a second..you have been with this man going on 9 YEARS..by law, this is close to a marriage and you have three children...if anyone is the other women, its that hoochie he is texting..anyway. I know that its hard to imagine your life as a single parent and I know that you do not want to break the home but it sounds like its past the point of no return. he is admitting to an emotional relationship with another women and he refuses to stop. He has no respect for your relationship..wake up and smell the trash that he is. It happend to my friend..her husband left her with two children on the streets over a younger women..he took the house, the cars and the pets.. don't be a fool. prepare for the worse..keep MAD money at all time. Good luck.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 2:02 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Forget that! Give him all the space he never asked for, don't include him in family activities you plan and be very clear that he has two choices: get a ring and commit or get out.
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 2:04 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • A ring is not going to change the fact that he is texting other women..shit, he could get married and still continue cheating. She has already caught him and he admited and does not want to stop!
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 2:08 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • All you can do is tell him how you feel about him talking to another girl, that you dont like it. I know he wouldnt like you talking to another man beside him. That how my husband is sometimes lol.
    rainabenner

    Answer by rainabenner at 2:10 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Please don't do this to yourself and your children. I know you deserve better than this. And it's sad to hear you say "you don't want to be the other women", when in fact you are the WIFE the one that should be the only one and the most important next to your children. I know it would be really hard to leave this marriage especially when you have your children but you really don't deserve someone disrespecting you like this. You owe it to your children. Ask family or friends for help if you have to but don't put up with this. I'm sorry to say but if he's continuing to do this even after you found out it's because you are letting him and he thinks you won't do anything just to stay in the marriage. I really wish you good luck. I know it's painful but it will be even more painful if you continue with him.
    momplus01

    Answer by momplus01 at 2:14 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Well if you continue to let him act this way he is going to. Why on earth would you ask him to "cut back" on communicating with his girlfriend? He should not have one. I'm not saying he shoudnt be allowed to talk to a girl or be friends with a girl. But if he is texting her and speaking with her that much, this is more than a friend.
    I thought this was already your husband....so Im not sure what some of the other commenters mean when they say tell him to get a ring or whatever.
    You also need to stop acting like his wife if he isnt treating you like one. He is having his cake nd eating it too. He gets to talk to his girlfriend all day, then you have sex with him etc. lol If you are still being his wife and allowing him to act this way, then why would he change? You are being a pushover. Put your foot down and have some self respect. He wont respect you if you dont.
    v8v

    Answer by v8v at 2:19 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Are you married? You didn't specifically say that he had married you. Even if you're unmarried but living together, it's a rude and hurtful thing that he's doing. He's possibly acting out of fear for this new baby, not that that's an excuse at all. But it is unacceptable. I've never been in a situation like this, but if you're strong enough, confront him and make him choose. How he handles that will tell you what you need to do.
    MonicaE521

    Answer by MonicaE521 at 2:20 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • another one!!! Ladies, she has already told him how she feels. She asked him to stop! he does not want Too!! What the other ladies posted is true..he will not respect you if you Do Not respect yourself first. If you have family to support you emotionaly and financially then take it.. But don't give him the better hand..take his ass to court and file for child support..don't be foolish to let him get off so easy. He will take that upper hand and she will too. I know that i am blunt but sometimes, you need to hear the truth without cut corners.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 2:26 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • THE OTHER WOMEN!!!!!! You are his WIFE and you are the MOTHER OF HIS CHILDREN. That is BULL SHIT he has no respect for you and he has made his choice to not stop speaking to this OTHER WOMEN. I know you have been with this man for 9 yrs and leaving his ass on the curb, is a scary thought but one day this is gonna happened so get him out before he does leave you or even worst brings you home something that wasn't wanted from another women.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:27 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Girl... you are not the other woman but you need to get out now. That kid bc he sure isn't a man... can go have his hoochie -- you deserves way better than that! He is trying to have his cake and eat it too -- I wouldn''t have physical contact with him bc how do you know he honestly hasn't been messing with her the same way.. sorry I know that may be hard to read but I mean come on you gotta have considered that this has already happened. Your kids deserve a better dad to look up to and learn from.. ugh he is a loser!
    ajc88

    Answer by ajc88 at 2:40 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

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