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3 Bumps

feel like i wanna cry

my birthday is coming up and birthdays are important to me because of something that happened to me on my 15th birthday. i spent it alone and with my parents because i was in a new town and i had only made 1 friend...well i invited that friend to go have dinner with us and go to a movie and she told me she was coming and then never showed. it was the most depressing birthday and i have never forgotten it. and i never want to spend any of my birthdays depressed like i was and just sitting at home ( i don't think anyone should have to). well i'm gonna be 26 and now i have a husband that doesn't plan things, like anything, whatever we do i have to plan. so i know he's not gonna plan something for my birthday. is it bad that i'm planning my own birthday and inviting my friends to come have dinner and dessert with me to celebrate? i feel embarrassed that i have to plan my own birthday stuff :(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:50 AM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I don't think its bad that you are planning your own birthday. I do think its kind of bad that you still care about spending your bday alone though. A birthday is just a day. I mean it is nice for someone to call and say Happy Bday, but to feel like you have to actually have a party or spend it with someone once you are past a certain age is kind of stupid. It's nice if it happens, but to care or be upset when it doesnt is childish. Get over it and dont let other people determine your happiness.
    v8v

    Answer by v8v at 3:01 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Do it! My dh always asks what I want to do and I do the same for him. It is your day, afterall! This year, leave your baggage in your emotional closet with all the other skeletons you've accumulated and tell them goodbye!
    BluDog

    Answer by BluDog at 3:02 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • If you don't want to spend it like that other one then plan it and have fun. If you know he won't so it then don't set you and up for failure. We all have our strong points and our weak points......so Plan it and have a great 26th birthday.
    KaraMia15

    Answer by KaraMia15 at 3:06 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • honestly...i would tell my hubby. does he know about ur concerns or ur past experiences...no u shouldnt feel embarrased because if friends make u comfortable on ur birthday then go for it...its a day for u...enjoy it. hope u have a happy one!
    kaitybuggsmomma

    Answer by kaitybuggsmomma at 3:34 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Plan something to do for yourself - maybe hubby isn't good at planning things or maybe he's worried he will mess up and you will be disappointed....whatever the case is plan something fun, invite your friends and have a blast so this bad one in the past is a distant memory because you made a whopper that you'll never forget. Have a good one and try not to look back so much! Happy 26th Birthday!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 3:56 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • my husbend is the exact same way but i knew that when i married him so im ok w it not to mention its my day so to make sure that its as special as i want it to be i enjoy planning my day and i love the fact that my hubend stands back and lets me take the lead on it and the fact that he always goes along with whatever i wana do that makes it even better so insted of being bummed bout haveing to plan your own thing be gr8ful that you are a strong enough person to be able to plan it not to mention that you made it through another year with the ones you love thats all that realy matters
    Talisa G.

    Answer by Talisa G. at 4:07 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • my boyfriend wouldnt plan nothing for me but when i told him it bothered me he listend to me and my b-day just passed a few weeks ago and he pland a dinner for me and invited my family and friends. i tought it was really cute.
    lOViNMOM2211

    Answer by lOViNMOM2211 at 5:03 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I have a quote on my desk that I try to hold in my heart always. "You don't find happiness, you make happiness" you should plan the party you want and enjoy it! Life is too short to wait for others to control your happiness.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:09 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Whats wrong with planning your own birthday? at least youll enjoy your birthday and you dh is involved in the activities. guys aren't wired like us. he prolly doesnt even realize it hurts you.
    BigfordBrat

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 8:43 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I'm sorry that you have to plan your own party. Maybe throughout the following year, you can talk to him more about it and let him know how much it would mean to you if HE did all the planning.. even if it's repeating what you did this year, at least it's something that he coordinated.
    _Tam_

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:09 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

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