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How do I heal mentally from so many losses?

I have had 9 miscarriages in 2 years. The earliest was 2 months and the latest was 6 months. I have been torn mentally. All I can think about is babies. I still get upset when I see pregnant women. I don't know what to do anymore. If anyone can help me please help.

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Asked by grace670 at 8:05 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Trying to Conceive

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Answers (9)
  • aww. do you belong to any support groups? look for some supportive ones online, i think they can be a lifesaver. ~hugs~ pm me any time, i have had losses too

    Answer by KnoxvilleDoula at 8:12 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I am so sorry for you loss' I think finding someone to talk to wether it's a counselor or a support group would help just to be able to get it out. Have you thought of doing something in your childrens honor? Make a donation to a childrens hospital, plant a tree, do something to honor their memories. I truly hope that you can find a way to cope with all that you have been through.

    Answer by at 8:15 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I am truly sorry for all of your losses, have you seen a doctor to try to figure out why it keeps happening? If the miscarriages are continuously occurring maybe you can look for a surrogate mother. A sister or sil might agree to carry for you. You can also look into adoption. As for emotional healing, you might want to talk to a grief counselor, online groups are also a good way to get all your grief out but it's very distant or impersonal.Only other moms who have miscarried can relate to what you are going through. God luck honey, I'll be praying for you.



    Answer by BooBear666 at 8:34 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • 6 months, isn't that a stillborn? We lost a baby at 29 1/2 weeks... I can't imagine it happening over and over, I'm so sorry. I would ask the doctor if there is anything you can do. I would also get a D&C, I know someone this happened to and as soon as she did she was able to carry the baby. Just take some time off... Do you have any children that weren't lost?

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 9:22 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I am so sorry for your losses. I had a miscarriage one month ago, exactly. A week after finding out our baby died (at 12 weeks), I hemorrhaged and nearly died myself. I had emergency surgery (d & c) and then bed rest for two weeks.
    Three of my friends are currently pregnant (two of them due the same time I was due), and three cousins who are pregnant too. It is hard -- knowing they'll have babies to hold and love in the spring ... and I'll be empty handed.
    I never knew how hard it was...
    Definitely find a support group. Talk to your doctor to find out if there are any issues -- find out why you seem to be high-risk.
    Right now I'm drinking wine every night and trying to heal before we try again. It is scary not knowing if we'll have trouble next time or not. I can only imagine how you feel.
    Do you have any girl friends that you can get fun/wild/crazy with?


    Answer by CarrieH77 at 10:03 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You definitely need some professional guidance and many prayers from family and friends.

    Answer by happysplaygroun at 11:31 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • *hugs* I've only suffered two losses myself and both first trimester. I strongly suggest finding a support group. On mine, there is a mama in the PAL (pregnancy after loss) section with me who has had 8 losses and was pregnant with twins until a few days ago, when she lost one of them. She still has one, though, and high hopes of making it to the end. It's such a hard thing to go through and it's impossible to deal with alone. If you are open to natural-minded mamas, the group I was on is here and they're really amazing support for healing.


    Answer by Xakana at 4:01 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • To answer the question of going to a doctor, yes I have gone to the doctor and we are doing a lot of testing. The reason it was miscarriage instead of stillborn was because of the weight of the babies that one time. I was preg. with twins and they stopped growing at 11 oz. we didn't catch it because i didn't have insurance at the time, and when i went to the er they did an emercancy D&C. I haven't been to any support groups. I don't know where to find them or how to find them, whether it be online or to drive somewhere. I am trying to make it through this but for some reason this most recent loss, 4 weeks ago upsets me more then any because she was big enough to survice the cord was wrapped around her neck, and she died. Thank you everyone for answering this, and yes I do have a plant and names for all of them.

    Answer by grace670 at 4:53 AM on Oct. 26, 2008

  • I miscarried at 6 mos also. It seemed like everywhere I looked I saw a pregnant woman or a newborn. There are support groups there in Ocala for grieving parents. Please check them out. In memory of my son, I did the honor program there at MRMC. I pray that you pain will lessen and that you find peace with this.

    Answer by RaeRae66 at 4:00 AM on Oct. 27, 2008

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