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Would you stay or would you leave?

Last year my sig decided we needed to find God and start attending church. I was always a practicing pagan which I gave up about a year ago so we could find a religion together. He did a bible study by these pentecostals. I sat through a couple sessions. He fell in love He gives more money to the church, more time, and decided we cannot have relations since we are not married by God. I offer other options for churches, studies, books-He refuses to leave his church. his church never took an interest in his "family", but that his church (much like a cult in my opinion) takes the Bible far too literally. He thinks he is called by God & this is the only way (his family has rejected) he still thinks this is normal and healthy. Do I leave with my son or just let it go and pretend I dont care. In an environment that is far from healthy. Any thoughts ladies?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Oct. 25, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • GOD would not want him to abandon his family, which it certainly seems in your posts that that is exactly what he is doing. Yes, God should come first in all your life, but he is doing more than that. He is being almost cult like, from what I can tell. NOTHING is good for you if you become obsessed with it, and that definitely includes religion. But anyway, if he is giving more of himself to the church than to you and doesn't seem to care about how you feel about it, then it's probably time for you to go. Being into your church is fine, but when it jeapordizes your family then it's not healthy.

    Answer by jenettyshome at 10:41 AM on Oct. 26, 2008


    Answer by myboogiewoogie at 8:14 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I think any kind of religious fanaticism is very, very unhealthy, no matter which religion you're practicing. He probably doesn't realize what he's doing to you guys...and if he does and doesn't care, then he's not as "Christian" as he says he is. I think you should sit down with him and have a very serious conversation about where both of you stand in the relationship. He shouldn't be neglecting you and your family at all.

    Answer by caitxrawks at 8:17 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • I think you should leave, your suppose to feel comfortable at church and if you don't then it's not right for you to stay. Let him continue to go to that church if he wants but search other places to find a church for you and your kid. You never know he might like your church and start to go to it.

    Answer by BraedensMom0327 at 8:19 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You need to leave. I know there are great spirit filled pentecostal churches out there but they have a startling track record for being abusive and becoming cults. This sounds like the early stages of the cult my husband and I left 4 months ago. Bail before it's too late and your out $4500

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 8:19 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • My question would be this. What about your relationship with God the Father, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit? I also do wonder, what kind of a church does he go to?
    We are not to comprimise our faith in Christ period and it is possible he is being obedient. He is the spiritual head of the household now as well. Doesn't mean he is perfect but unless is it truly in a cult which I cannot say he is or not since I do not know where he attends, then I would just deal with you. Christianity is not about religion but a relationship with Christ Jesus.

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 8:21 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • You don`t have to pretend to like it. if you have found God, or if you are searching please pray for him and yourself. I used to be pentecostal ( didn`t like one, but liked another)but there a different pentecostal churches . Not all have the same belief. Can you get married or only if you have the same religion? It took years of praying from my friends and family for me to see things differently. hang in there and if need be go to another church youreslf,where you can find support.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • he and I have talked many times about the problems this "faith of his is causing I dont care if he wants a relationship with God and Christ and will encourage it but this church (pentecostal in WI) is extremely unhealthy for all of us and he just doesnt see its like an addiction! But needless to say he doesnt hear, or cant, anything I say about how miserable he makes me with this life change he has taken. And as for marriage I have never been baptized, nor will I be until I find a church that feels like a good fit - and we cannot marry in his church unless I join (isnt that just like the Manson's lol) its a crossroads, he just doesnt get it, cant see the cultish nature of the place and the people there, yet the one time I was there, its so obvious Its scary....Besides before he sprung the no more physical relations, we were trying to conceive-more loss, grief, anger and betrayal that he chose this path

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • What about another branch of Christianity. Maybe something along the lines of Nondenominational beliefs. If you do not feel at home in the church then it is not the one for you. Church should be a place of peace, of comfort. If he can not respect your decision to find your faith in the way that brings you comfort then you may need to set your foot down. Do not pretend to be something you are not.  Keep searching there is a church that is the right fit for you. 



    Answer by pnwmom at 9:06 PM on Oct. 25, 2008

  • anon o.p. I want to ask you a question, but I would rather ask in an e-mail. No it isn`t to start debate,but I am afraid if i post it here it would offend quite a few. If you feel you can trust me, please send me an e-mail here on C. M. I may be able to offer some insight.if not, I understand.

    Answer by kanake at 9:26 PM on Oct. 25, 2008