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2 Bumps

Have you ever heard of this?

Someone never having heard of the need for alone time or hearing of the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder"?

My DH gets all bent when I say I wanna be alone sometimes, like its a personal attack on him. He thinks I'm crazy and has never heard of such a thing? I asked him in return what rock he lived under as a kid cuz everyone needs time to themselves at some point (besides the toilet).

Am I really that much in the minority? His family was always very close growing up, to the point of actually being controlled like little puppets by their parents.


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:15 AM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Alone time is awesome..

    But if he grew up in a big close controlling family, then hes not use to it. & doesn't understand why you are pulling away.

    Answer by lilmoosesmom at 8:50 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • i like being alone.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:32 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • They say that absence makes the heart grow fungus (Barenaked Ladies)

    I don't think it's out of the ordinary for people to want alone time. Is he feeling a little insecure?

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 8:47 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • That is weird! even me and my bf who LOVE to be together and dont really hang out with anyone but each other and my daughter need our time apart once in a while...

    Answer by BigfordBrat at 8:26 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Coming from a close family I can relate to your DH. We believe absence makes the heart grow yonder. It's just how you grow up, I guess. We were 7 kids, so there was no such thing as alone time. I can't imagine being/living alone

    Answer by CassyzMom at 9:21 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I would like to add that It's not insecurity, it's just not being used to being alone. Not used to not conversating or not having your "space" invaded. I find it quite comforting. We are all really close still. I mean REAAAAALY close. I love it

    Answer by CassyzMom at 9:27 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • You're not a minority here. He also needs to understand that women have a thing where they need to be alone for a little while in order to collect their thoughts. Also, you should let him know that it's not because you have thoughts of abandoning or leaving him; you'll always be there for him. Women just need to have some alone time. If he still has problems with this, there is still a way you can have your alone time. Go take a bath and relax for a little while; if you need to, let him know you'll be out in x minutes.

    Answer by _Tam_ at 10:03 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I'm lucky, my husband, sd and I all like our time alone. We will go into separate rooms and do our thing...we may even hang in the same room and do different projects, but when all is said and done we get together and talk or watch a movie. It's nice.

    Answer by BluDog at 12:03 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Never had this problem. I have said time and time again, all this talk about constant togetherness is sometimes over -rated.

    Answer by debnich501960 at 12:42 PM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • He's a control freak.... He learned it at an early age. Either get used to it, or get away, because it's not going to get any better... Coming from experience, it will get much worse the longer it goes on.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 8:34 AM on Oct. 8, 2010