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Whats your take on this?

My good friend of 3 years is going home to Boston for good and liekly I'll never see them again unless I pass his way.

He asked me "You gonna come see me in Boston?" and I honestly answered "I don't see myself ever going thru Boston, but yeah if I ever am, I'll let ya know". And he got all huffy and said "fine."

Should I have just told him what he wanted to hear? I was just being honest. I really DON'T see myself having a reason to go to Boston (outside of visiting him).


Asked by Zoeyis at 8:50 AM on Oct. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Level 31 (46,808 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I probably would've said the exact same thing. There's no sense in lying to him and telling him you'd come visit because if you did, he would always remind you of it. Always ask you when you're coming every time you speak to him. I think it's best to just be honest and say, "I really don't see myself ever going to Boston, at least not anytime soon, but if I do you know you'd be the first person I'd see!" Traveling can get expensive. I know, I travel to SC from FL every few months to visit my parents and it costs a good bit of money. It's not like you're never going to talk to him. I never visit my friends back home in SC, but we do keep in contact through phone calls.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:31 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I agree, you blew him off, like "oh well, you're leaving, guess our friendship is over", lol....I am sure you didn't mean it like that, but I would let him know that I would plan to visit ever so often and stay in touch.

    Answer by luvmy4kidsinAL at 9:04 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Where in the world do you live? Flying is not that expensive. It is challenging and time consuming. How good of a friend is it that you do not think that it is worth the trip just to see him? I really do not understand. It might be awhile, but it is something you could do.
    It sounds like you do not value the friendship to put forth an effort to see him.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:12 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Well, maybe he wanted to be a good enough reason for you to go to Boston. You pretty much just told him you're friendship was over.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 9:23 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • You should have told him you would. You pretty much blew him off.

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:53 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I have the same problem, I also tell people the truth instead of what they want to hear. Just like me, you'll have to learn to filter your words in order to spare the feelings of the ones you love

    Answer by CassyzMom at 9:16 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I think I would have said something like "I hope so! Will you be coming back to see me? And maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle." With the internet and phones, it's easy to keep in touch, and at some point, you may be able to see each other, so why be hurtful and act like it's not worth the effort?

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:44 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • Honesty is the best policy wether it hurts someones feelings or not.Im straight forward and yea sometimes people get upset with me to but its part of life.

    Answer by cleomo7 at 9:49 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • hmm.. ok, well ya I didn't mean it like that. I was just stating a fact, but I guess in this case it was at least better to pretend or tell him what he wanted to hear.

    Comment by Zoeyis (original poster) at 9:11 AM on Oct. 8, 2010

  • I don't blame her. I'd have to have a good reason to fly 100s of miles, spend that kinda money for the whole visit (not just airfare), arrange time with my job and family and school schedules and all the other bs attached to travelling long distances.

    Maybe she should have said "You bet!" and left it at that. But if he was a true friend, as well, he'd have known her well enough to know what she meant or how she meant it. If he can't handle his friend being honest, then I guess he wasn't that good a friend, either. You should be able to be honest with close friends.

    We don't know her home life situation or how big a burden it may be to her and her family to just up and go visit one person in a place they've never been, have no real reason to ever go to otherwise. Don't be so quick to judge.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Oct. 8, 2010